#How Lams met E

[castingspellsanddaisies]

Tarot Readings Masterlist

UPCOMING READINGS - click here <3

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About my prediction for Jude Bellingham's possible next relationship... Will it last?

Jude Bellingham's thoughts on marrying a brown woman

Will Jude Bellingham work with a woman in a future brand collaboration?

Sana's future partner + physical traits

Sana's general personality + physical traits she likes the most in people

How's sexy time with... Trent AA?

Does Jude Bellingham sleep with e*corts?

About Chois San (ATEEZ kpop group)

Ben Shelton: random questions hehe

Is time travel possible?

The truth about dragons

Does Bangchan know how to take care of himself?

Does Kim Hong-joong know how to take care of himself?

Is Jude Bellingham useless like his brother said?

Jobe Bellingham: sexy time with him, general personality, how's he emotionally, how's he as a partner?

Why The Grammys won't nominate more Kpop artists?

Jude Bellingham and Kendall Jenner: the truth about them

How Jude Bellingham's future wife feels about motherhood?

How Jude Bellingham's future wife looks like?

What's Lamine Yamal's type? Who'll be his next girlfriend? How will they meet?

What's Jules Kounde's general personality and how is he in relationships?

Will Kylian Mbappé complete his contract with Real Madrid?

Alex Turner and Louise Verneuil: their relationship dynamic

What's Jihyo's type (TWICE kpop group) + Has she met ''the one'' yet?

Sexy time with Virgil Van Dijk + is he cheating on his wife again?

How Ben Shelton feels about having kids?

How's Jude Bellingham during sexy time when he's in love?

How Idols feel about Knetz

Jungkook's future partner

Jude Bellingham and Laura Celia

Will Trent Alexander-Arnold marry a black woman?

Has Donald Trump won the election fairly?

Jude Bellingham and Marsai Martin: are they compatible?

US upcoming months predictions

How'd Jude Bellingham react if his girlfriend had been ''friends with benefits'' with another Real Madrid player?

Is Jude Bellingham's future partner famous right now?

Jude Bellingham and Rmarni

Why is Kylian Mbappé playing so bad in Real Madrid?

How would Ben Shelton feel about his partner having nipple piercings?

Jude Bellingham: baby trapped? Scandals?

Jude Bellingham's next girlfriend + what his family will think of her

Jude Bellingham's marriage... Kind of

Was Beyoncé jealous of Aaliyah?

What's Trent AA's trauma from his past?

Will Jude Bellingham's future partner be famous before getting together with him?

How's Son Heung-min as a boyfriend?

US Election Predictions - Part 2

Jude Bellingham and his hook-ups

Trent Alexander-Arnold in relationships

US Election Predictions part 1

Beyoncé conspiracy theory

Gossip question about Jude Bellingham

Trent Alexander-Arnold's personality, his type (kinda) and why he goes after women who were after Jude first

Hypothetical question about Jude Bellingham

How Jude Bellingham feels about Ballon D'or and Vini Jr

Kylian Mbappé - short gossip tarot reading

Arthur Fils as a partner, his type and if he's romantic

Ben Shelton: sexy time with him, intimacy and does he fuck around while on tour?

Jude Bellingham's bad habits + red flags

Jude Bellingham... Are you a loyal man?

The Son Heung-min Tarot Reading

About The Elisa Lam's Case

Sir Lewis Hamilton's general personality + how he acts in romantic relationships

Jake (ENHYPEN kpop group) as a boyfriend + how he acts when he's interested in someone

How's Kylian Mbappé in relationships?

Sexy time with... Sana (TWICE kpop group) + how's she as a girlfriend

Predictions for Rolex Paris Masters' Match (October 30, 2024)

Maya Henry and Liam Payne

Will Timothée Chalamet & Lily Rose Depp ever get back together?

Did Yunho date a florist in 2022?

How are Ben Shelton and Bryan Shelton after loss at final

PART 2 - Drew Starkey & Odessa A'zion tarot reading

Kylian Mbappe: personality, type in women and his future in Real Madrid

How Jude, Mbappé, Vini and Florentino are feeling after loss to Barcelona in El Clasico

ATP Basel tournament final' Predictions (October 27, 2024)

Drew Starkey and Odessa A'zion: love, friendship or PR?

Drew Starkey's general personality + how's he as a partner

El Clasico Predictions (October 26, 2024)

Aurelien Tchouameni's general personality + his type in women

Ben Shelton's type in women + how he's as a partner

How's sexy time with Jude Bellingham?

Is Jude Bellingham emotionally mature?

Virgil van Dijk as a partner

Virgil van Dijk's general personality

Kylie jenner and Timothée Chalamet relationship

About Kylian Mbappe's investigation

Jude Bellingham’s personality

Jude Bellingham’s type

Jude Bellingham's future spouse

Jude Bellingham in relationships

Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott

Sana's type (from TWICE kpop group)

Lady Gaga thought's on Joker 2

What’s Seunghan and Soobin’s dynamic with each other?

[drowninginredink]

How did it take me until April 3, 2024 to realize that Lemony Snicket is absolutely a trans woman and someone needs to get her some E, stat?

- Lemony is always, always, always hiding her face. Well... okay they cut it from Netflix, but in the books and movie, the most iconic thing about Lemony is that in every photograph, she's managed to hide her face. And yes, allegedly that's to hide her identity, but like... Is it? Or is that an excuse and really Lemony just does not like her face because it's too masculine? God knows most pre-transition folks hate being photographed

- Have you seen the way she talks about Beatrice? Have you read that letter from The Beatrice Letters? "Summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you is even colder," "I cherished, you perished, the world's been nightmarished," "When we first met, you were pretty and I was lonely. Now I am pretty lonely." Straight men do not write about women like that. Lesbians do. Especially that letter. Do you think that a straight man wrote "I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you next Tuesday" or "I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory" or "I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry?" Absolutely not. Those are obviously the words of a lesbian.

- Pretty much everyone important in Lemony's life is a woman. All of the people closest to him: Beatrice, Kit, R, Moxie, and Ellington. Sure, he does interact with other people, but those are the 5 closest relationships indicated by the text. Obviously you can be a man with all female friends, but how many times has a "man" always gotten along better with women and ended up not being a man.

- The audiobooks are (mostly) read by Tim Curry, and we all know he plays a pretty famous transsexual

- Lemony strikes me as very self-sabotaging. Now, this is my own opinion. One could believe that all of the mess that Lemony is in is purely VFD's fault. Maybe VFD forced her to take the blame for Olaf's crimes and generally end up buried so deep in accusations that she had to fake her own death and go on the lam. However, I can see an absolutely self-hating Lemony who volunteered to take on the role that she did. Who chose to be the fall guy. And why would she hate herself so much? Dysphoria. A deeply dysphoric and closeted woman who figures that since she isn't happy with herself, she might as well be the one to have her life ruined by the schism. That way all the actually happy and good people don't need to have their potential ruined.

- Similarly, Lemony never actually jumps in to save the Baudelaires, merely writing about them from afar. She is, to put it bluntly, a coward. She tells herself she's doing something to help them, but won't intervene in the way they really need. Why not? Because she's so deep in self-loathing! Again, that could just be because of her failures in life, but like... What if she also hates herself because of repressed dysphoria?

- Lemony is just generally really, really, really, really sad. And look, I know I'm aromantic as hell, but do we really think that's *just* because she lost the love of his life? Or do we think maybe something else is making her that gloomy?

- Look I just really want Lemony to have a way to be happy. And there's no bringing Beatrice back. But. HRT? Sure. I bet there's HRT in the snicketverse. Why not? I take the reading that Beatrice and Bertrand had Violet at like 20, which makes Lemony only like 35. He's 35, and yet she's completely given up on life. She is just a shelll of a person. She doesn't actually interact with anyone and spends all her time researching terrible things that happen. She's too young to be resigned to misery. I want Lemony to have a way to be reborn and find some form of happiness again. Thus, I would like to blame some of her misery on living as a man, and propose that transition could save her.

- Again. Lemony hates pictures and doesn't like to show her face. Give her some FFS! Stat!

- Come on. Beatrice and Lemony are an iconic couple. You cannot tell me that if given the choice, you want them to be M/F when they could be F/F

Okay. I rest my case. Now to submit to @couldtransitionsaveher

[praazlwurm]

tfw that Nerd™ your wife fell for had an Evil Reveal but you know that's not a dealbreaker for her

AHHH I LOVE IT SM ive been thinking about this constantly the last few weeks, ever since i saw this frame as a 'draw your characters' prompt:

close ups and MASSIVE plot dump below (❁´◡`❁) its all i could think about the other night and kept me awake for hours

so this info dump is mostly for @jordemme (and everyone whose checked in on me (ಥ _ ಥ)) bc he's the kindest soul in the world

but for the curious, my self-insert oc Magpie and Volo have been together since they met in Hisui (written out in my fic series here)

Off-page they've been region-hopping and not always like physically together, but after shenanigans in Galar they come to paldea to hopefully avoid the real world-ending scenarios

And Mags (who doesnt do the exact sv protag scenario, glancing off penny but being noticed by nemona as a rival) meets Raifort on her way to speak with Clavell about Arven's whole Situation after he dumps koraidon on her

Specifically, she's walking past the classroom when she sees Laventon's face on that smartboard or w/e and stops in her tracks, struck by memories, then realizes she's been staring at Raifort (who's been studiously ignoring her in the doorway) and chats w her about the history of pokeballs

and comes of as intensely knowledgeable about the development (seeing as she lived through it) but reticent to share, so Raifort tries to tempt her out with some thoughts on predecessors - namely, some of the most ancient sealing methods known to have been used in the area

they hit it off, and over a few weeks she introduces rai to volo and (i start curling my hair around my fingers) they talk and get closer and blah blah blah (and in the background mags and volo are running around doing pokedex and arven's plot, leaving the gyms and team star aside for nemona and penny to resolve) and following up on Raifort's lead with the stakes until they find the vaults

Magpie is enamored, using her Powers™ to study the Unown sequences enchanting the stakes and vaults, eventually enough to (cough) wardbreak them rather than having to hunt down all the stakes (starting with Chien Pao who takes a liking to Volo) - not wanting to expose the power, however, they keep it hidden from raifort until Arven realizes they need to go into area zero

And after such a long absence, despite high emotions Raifort presses them when they get back and (just wanting to indulge her) mags shows that they've found three of the four pokemon she's expounded upon, and invite her to join them in gaining the fourth; on the way to farthest north part of the region, mags relays what happened with area zero, trusting her enough to talk about the time machine (now destroyed) and the proliferation of time-displaced ancient pokemon (this is scarlet btw lmao) and mags waxes poetic about the microbiome of area zero and the tragedy of the paradox-mon

and maybe theres an element of raifort being close with sada, unsure, but when they finally reach Ting Lu, Raifort pulls a kieran fast one and catches it, then steals the others, going on the lam to use it to try and break down the wall of the crater and wreak havoc on the region so she goes down in history; they ofc chase her down and battle it out but (even without the god of distortion) Raifort doesnt go down without a fight

which brings us to this, with volo terribly amused bc he can tell Magpie is caught in the same emotional snarl as 200 years ago

and if i were to start a fic, it would be right here, bc it mirrors pick-a-god so closely; with raifort bound by the chains of Ting Lu's vault, faking sleep in the back of a car in order to listen in, confusedly, on how volo talks about himself and their travels - including decades that imply they're far far older than they appear, that they're 'living history'

So rai makes any promise she needs to if it means sticking with them (and out of jail/the hands of interpol, which the two are apparently very familiar with) and ends up joining the two of them on their excursion to Kitakami (insert cute festival outfits/food scenes and parasocial attachment of kieran here) she sees their intense recognition of Perrin and the hisuian growlithe

and its in the moment they're so stricken by capturing Bloodmoon Ursaluna and realizing the Timeless Woods' connection to Hisui that Raifort seizes on the spark of vulnerability to press them to reveal all; and they do, spilling their origins and that of mag's power, her connection to arceus - but here, i think (it might change if i actually write this out) magpie hesitates, and clams up entirely, so shut down that it isnt until raifort listens in that night she learns why

mags cant tell her that she isnt from this world, cant get attached, bc for a moment she'd forgotten the harshest lesson of hisui - that the people they love will grow old and die, and as far as they know they'll live on for centuries yet; and magpie is scared she might even out-live volo, that he'll grow bored of her or tire of the world and the celestica blessing will wear off and she'll be alone again

and under the weight of that raifort feels her heart crack, and leaves (not hearing volo comfort magpie by saying that more than anything he'd want Magpie to not be alone - to make connections beyond him even if they're fleeting so that she does have people to reach out to)

and its fuzzy here, but Raifort does still connect with Briar during this trip, and when they go back to paldea, Briar files paperwork to research Area Zero accompanied by the three of them - only for Kieran to party crash, trying to one-up magpie by catching the uncovered terapagos, and in the face of him being endangered she freezes the masterball midair and just teleports him away

("Kieran-!" Briar shouts, only for magpie to grit out through her teeth, "he's fine I just sent him to his room. In Kitakami. we'll handle that later.")

oh and i think magpie would be convinced the infectious teracrystal phenom is dangerous (the way i did, constantly thinking "should we be wearing hazard suits down here?" during the dlc lmao) but that terapagos is baby and deserves to be protected, so she could build him a proper shell out of unown-carved star shards that contains the spread while allowing terapagos to be adopted by Briar

and this would probably be where raifort apologizes properly, and magpie understands and relays what volo had comforted her with about making connections, and is thrilled to know raifort wants to stick with briar to build their life together, and sees them off with the familiar ache of love that's allowed to grow old, to remain in the past

anyway, thats what kept me up all night lmao im gay and sad what else is new

ily bye

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

[AL: Photos and story from a major New York tabloid, The Daily News, celebrating the brutal attack of hundreds of anti-Nazi protesters by the NYPD. The German envoys were members of the new Nazi foreign propaganda bureau heading to Chicago for an exhibition. The Daily News treats the 'Reds' like children, with a dash of misogyny thrown in, and no names or demands are listed in their coverage. The Brooklyn Daily Eagle at least notes that many of those injured were just local pedestrians, and that most participants in this protest were not Communists but members of Jewish and emigre organizations. The police were, not surprisingly, so anti-Communist they were pro-Fascist.]

"At Reds' Welcoming Party," New York Daily News. May 26, 1933. Page 2. Morning edition. --- A demonstrator who lost his feet in that scuffle with police at the foot of 58th St., Brooklyn, yesterday. (NEWS photo) ///

"At Reds' Welcoming Party," New York Daily News. May 26, 1933. Page 2. Main edition. ---- Women demonstrators come to the aid of a comrade felled in the battle between Communists and police at the foot of 58th St., Brooklyn, yesterday.

A mounted policeman leads a woman demonstrator away after the battle at the Brooklyn pier. ///

"COPS FOIL REDS," New York Daily News. May 26, 1933. Page 1. Main edition. --- Cop wades into cringing Red with club after he refused to depart. Two thousand Reds gathered at Brooklyn pier yesterday to vent dislike on two arriving Hitler envoys. - Story p. 2; other pics. p. 35. ///

"REDS' RUFFINED CONFETTI SHOWER FOR NAZIS A BOOMERANG," New York Daily News. May 26, 1933. Page 37. Main edition. ---- Captions, clockwise from top left: a) "Sock! You can almost hear the thud of fist on flesh as thetwo detectives on the left hold a Red demonstrator whiledetective on right rains blows on his head. b) This Red wouldn't go. so he's being dragged. Mounted cop has a knotted grip on Red's coat collar. Latter's going along to tune of "Off to the Bastile."

c) Before the police dispersed them. Reds and their anti-Hitler banners throng open square at Pier 4. foot of 58th St. Brooklyn, awaiting arrival of Nazi envoys.

d) THREE COPS were among seventeen injured in clash between Reds and police yesterday. Reds gathered at Brooklyn pier in demonstration against two arriving Hitler envoys. e) It's almost like that childhood game "Ran, sheep, run." Except, of course, that it's not so playful. Red, demonstrators are taking it on the lam as police in uniform and plain clothes give them the red rush. Reds wanted to give Hitler envoys a ruffined welcome. Cops told them to Star beat it. They finally did.

f) They say the female of the species is more deadly than the male. Perhaps that's why two cops are necessary to put the quietus on this young girl Red. Gripped by detective afoot, she is being dragged off by mounted policeman. She was at pier to tell Hitler's envoys how little she cared for Nazis. She had plenty to say. ///

"Police Clubs Rout 2,000 In Red Nazi Riot," New York Daily News. May 26, 1933. Page 2 & 10. Evening edition. ---- FIRST with strategy and then with clubs, police yesterday foiled and dispersed an angry Communist mob of 2,000 gathered at the foot of 58th St., Brooklyn, to vent its spite on two Nazi agents who were arriving on the North German Lloyd liner Columbus.

Refusing to believe that the Hitler representatives had been taken from the liner on a tug, the demonstrators, singing, shouting and waving banners, crowded closer around the pier.

When persuasion failed, the police, 100 strong, charged. Swinging clubs were met with volleys of bricks, bottles, stones and steel slugs. Mounted policemen bowled over men with banners, women with red hats. Others fell beneath nightsticks.

The battle was brief but furious. Some of the injured lay groaning on the ground. Others escaped upside streets. A mother picked up her injured daughter and screamed imprecations.

Patrolman GeorgeForsythe was felled with the flat of a pick ax swung against his back with such force that the sharp end would have pierced his body.

Sergt. George Kennedy went down with a deep gash across his head.

Fourteen men and women were treated at the Fourth Avenue Station for cuts and bruises. Four of them were arrested for felonious assault and the rest for disorderly conduct.

While the crowd was still working up its enthusiasm, the two Nazis, Hans Weidemann and Gotthold Schneider, were rushed across the bay in a tug to the Battery.

[im-still-writing-out-of-time]

‘I Want Her’

For my lovely @sinnamon-smols for always being there for me. I love you. ❤️ I hope you enjoy this. 

It’s all fluff people. No warnings, I think. (Lemme know)

The title is probably temporary. I don’t like it but it’s been in my docs as ‘How Lams Met E” so I mean…

Masterlist

“Her,” John said pointing to the woman. Eliza. She had dark brown hair and gorgeous eyes. She was perfect, beautiful. “Can it be her, Alex, please?”

“Lemme see.” Alexander took the folder from John’s hands and looked at all the information inside. She was perfect; her education, her background, her looks- she was the total package. “She looks perfect Jacky, but shouldn’t we look through the rest of the files?”

“You can, but I want her.”

Alexander laughed and kissed his husband’s cheek. “Alright baby. I’ll look through the rest, but she seems perfect.”

“If she seems perfect why are you still looking?” John whined.

Alexander laughed. “Maybe there’s someone more perfect than her.”

“Nope. She’s the one. She’s smart, and she’s pretty, and I want her.” John was adamant about Eliza.

Alexander rolled his eyes, a smile brightening up his face. “I’ll call her now. See if she’s still available, okay?” He pulled his phone from under the pile of files and scanned her information page for her phone number. “It’s ringing,” he said as he turned to John and pressed a chaste kiss to his nose.

John wiggled in his seat excitedly. “Hehehe yay,” he giggled.

Alexander smiled at his goofy antics; the ones that made him fall in love with John in the first place. “Hello! Is this Eliza Schuyler?” A slight pause. Alexander turned on speaker phone so John could hear. “My name is Alexander Hamilton. I’m calling for myself and my husband John. We got your file from the agency and we’re wondering if you were still available.”

“Uh, yeah I am. Would you guys like to set up a meeting?”

“Of course!” John said into the phone speaker.

Alexander laughed once more. “Sorry about that Eliza, that would be my very hopeful and excited husband John.”

Her laugh tingled through the phone. “That’s alright. When can we meet?”

“Any time is okay with us. Whatever’s good for you.”

“Well I’m free right now, if you have time.”

John got up and sprinted to the bedroom to change out of his sweatpants. “Where would you like to meet? I don’t think John would let me say no to a meeting as soon as possible.”

“There’s a pizza place just around the corner from my house,” she said, prompting Alexander to look at her info page. No address. “We could get something to eat while we talk if you want.”

“Yeah that’s perfect,” Alexander said. “We’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll text you the address and see you there, Alexander.”

John was a ball of energy. He couldn’t stop bouncing no matter what. “Do you think she’s just as pretty in real life, Alexander?”

“I bet she’s even more beautiful, John.” He pushed open the door to the pizza place and sat in a table directly next to the pizza. “Do you want anything, John?”

John was bouncing in his seat. “No. I’m too excited.”

He was still jittering when she walked through the door. “Hi,” she said, almost shyly, as she walked up to them. “John and Alexander?” John’s head bobbed excitedly. She laughed. “Hi, I’m Eliza. How are you guys today?”

“I’m good,” replied Alexander. “John is- John is overly hyper right now. He’s not usually like this.”

John stopped dancing in his seat and glared at Alexander. “I’m hopeful, okay, you butt?”

Alexander smiled before leaning over and kissing John on the cheek. “I know babe.” He turned back to Eliza. “John’s been wanting a baby for a long time and refused to look at any other files after he read yours.”

Eliza smiled. “Well I’m honored. Is there anything you guys would like to know about me?”

John looked thoughtful while Alexander nodded. “Why did you decide to be a surrogate? You’re young, beautiful, intelligent, and from a wealthy background. You could settle down and get married and keep your child. Why surrogacy?”

“You know, I don’t really have a solid answer for that. I mean, I guess I just wanted to help someone who couldn’t have a child have one. I’m not in it for the money or anything so don’t worry about outrageous fees; just doctor and hospital bills. I’m pretty self sufficient. As far as ‘giving the baby away,’” she said, using her fingers for air quotes. “The only things I request from you guys now is a look around the house you’ll be living in- I want to know it’s a safe home that a baby is being raised in- and a promise that I’ll be in the baby’s life somehow.” She looked down at her hands resting on the table. “That was one of my few reservations about surrogacy; would the baby be going to a safe home and would I ever get to see her? You know? You don’t have to tell the baby I’m their mother, but even just calling me a family friend would be okay with me.”

“Of course you can see the baby! We aren’t monsters,” cried John. “Only problem is that we need a baby for you to see,” he mumbled.

“Then it’s settled,” said Eliza. “I’m gonna be your surrogate.”

John launched his body into Alexander’s arms, his crying face hiding in the crook of Alexander’s neck. “We’re gonna have a baby,” he sobbed.

“Which one of you will be the father?” Eliza asked gently.

“John will be,” Alexander answered, his hand rubbing circles on John’s back. “He’s wanted a baby for so long.”

Eliza couldn’t help but smile at the couple. They seemed a little unorthodox, even for a gay couple, but they were perfect.

“Do you want to come see our place tonight? We can order a pizza to go and you can come have supper with us. It’s not that far of a walk.”

Eliza smiled. “I’d love to.”

Eliza fell into an odd routine with the boys. Every Wednesday was their ‘family dinner,’ as John called it. They had been trying to get pregnant for four months. The artificial insemination treatments were once every month, and both men always accompanied her. It was like they really were a family.

She stared at the box in front of her- pink and white, with yellow and blue accents. Three pregnancy tests, and her period was finally late enough for her to justify taking them. She sat in the bathroom at her apartment and peed in an old plastic medicine cup that had been laying around that she had cleaned. Taking all three tests, she set them in the cup, watching the blue run through the window of the test before pulling them out and capping them. Setting the timer, she set the tests on the counter and turned to the sink to wash her hands.

She danced around in the mirror, praying for six little lines. The time was dragging by until finally the timer beeped and she lunged to the tests.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

Three positives. Eliza screamed in excitement as she grabbed the tests in her hand. There was a new bounce in her step as she glided through the house, getting ready for family dinner night. She grabbed the tiny baby shoes she had sitting on her dresser. They were tiny, and pretty impractical as any type of legitimate clothing, but they were perfect for announcing the pregnancy to the boys.

She had taken up yarn work, specifically crocheting, and the booties were her first finished project. They weren’t the best, but she was proud of them. She walked to the street and hailed a cab to bring her to the nearest store. Scanning the shelves for tiny gift bags, she grabbed two, a glimmering silver, and some tissue paper.

The smile sparkled on her face all through the store, even as she got stuck behind a family with two carts of groceries in front of her. There were very few cash registers open, but the family directly in front of her scoffed and left the line in search of a shorter queue. The mother in front of her looked frazzled, twin boys strapped in car seats laying across the carts.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, her hands flying to place different items on the register belt.

Eliza’s smile softened. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not in any rush, take you’re time.”

The woman sighed in relief. “Thank you,” she whispered, tearing up. Her husband was in front of her loading an empty cart with bagged groceries, moving one of the twins onto his new cart, hands trying to help load items onto the belt.

“Guys,” Eliza prompted. “You can slow down. I’m really not in any hurry.”

Their movements slowed after that. No longer were they moving at their fastest pace, but a comfortable one. They were able to smile at their own babies as they moved, and Eliza couldn’t help but wonder if John and Alexander would do things with their baby like that; simple things like grocery shopping together.

The couple in front of her moved their carts towards the door, the babies smiling at their parents. They both looked so much calmer now that someone had shown them the slightest bit of compassion. Eliza’s kind smile returned as she watched the cashier scan her items. The total came out around fifteen dollars and Eliza grabbed the cash from her bag, her hands pushing aside the small baby shoes. She was bubbling with excitement as the cashier handed her her receipt with a lifeless “have a good day.” Eliza hoped her day would get better as it went by.

She sat on a bench near the automatic doors, pulling the tags off her bags and tearing open the tissue paper. Each bag got a pregnancy test wrapped in tissue paper pressed into the bottom, more tissue paper being pushed into the bag. A little bootie was set carefully on top, covered by another two sheets of tissue paper in each bag.

Eliza smiled at the shimmering white tissue paper, knowing how John would react, but unsure of Alexander’s reaction. She stepped to the curb and hailed a cab, sitting in the back and giving the driver a smile as she said John and Alexander’s address.

The house was dark when Eliza walked in. The only light was coming from sets of candles set around the kitchen, so she knew the boys were home. “Alexander,” she called. “John?”

A shuffling noise came from behind her and she tenses slightly, wondering which one of them it was. A gentle kiss pressed against her cheek. John.

“Hello John.”

“Hello,” he said, pressing another kiss to her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Good!” She said. “Happy and hungry.”

Alexander moved towards her, she could finally see him in the glow of the candlelight. “Eliza, we have something we want to ask you. We’ve though about it for some time- be sure of that- and we want your opinion. It’s completely in your hands, but don’t feel pressured, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, setting the gifts on the counter. “What’s up?”

“What’s in those?” John asked.

“Presents,” Eliza said simply, slapping John’s hand as he reached for it. “You first, then you get the presents.”

Alexander sank to his knee, pulling John beside him. “Before you say no, this is not a marriage proposal, promise,” Alexander started. “But we’ve been talking to you for a while now, Eliza. You’re smart, beautiful, funny, and practically perfect in every way. John and I have been thinking, and hoping….”

“Would you like to join our little relationship?” Each of the boys held one of Eliza’s hands in their own. “It would be all three of us doing relationship things. You’d be an equal partner with us, and get all the benefits and detriments that come along with that.” John pressed a chaste kiss to the back of her hand. “So what do you say?”

Eliza blushed. Apparently the boys felt the same as she did. “Of course I will,” she whispered. Tears were welling in her eyes, despite the smile on her face. She breathed in deeply, laughing a little from the embarrassment of crying as the boys rushed her into their arms. They had hugged her before, of course, but this one felt so much better, so much more natural. “Present time,” she said, taking another deep breath and trying to keep the happy tears at bay. “But you have to open them slowly and at the same time, and I have to record your reactions.” She grabbed the gift bags and walked to the living room, pulling her phone from her bag and opening the camera. “Sit side by side,” she ordered, and the boys listened, holding each other’s hands as they sat.

Eliza handed the boys their gifts and they settled in their seats as she walked to the wall to run on the lights. She nodded as she pressed record and Alexander dove into his gift bag, tearing the paper out.

“Alexander!” John exclaimed, backhanding his arm. “She said slowly and at the same time, you dumbass.” John pulled his tissue paper out to match Alexander’s and they reached into their respective bags together, each pulling out a soft shoe.

“It’s a baby bootie,” stated Alex.

“Wow,” drawled John. “You’re so observant.”

Eliza laughed. “I made them for when the baby comes,” she explained. “Keep going.”

The boys pulled the rest of the tissue paper out, tossing it to the floor in front of them as they reached their little rectangles at the bottom. They had managed to synchronize their movements up until Alexander ripped open the paper while John unwrapped it gently. Each boy sat on the couch staring at the little test window, Alexander squinting without his glasses.

“You’re pregnant,” breathed John, barely loud enough to hear. “You’re pregnant?” Eliza nodded gently, the smile shining on her face as Alexander’s hands stuttered, dropping his test. John launched himself at Alex, his arms wrapping themselves around her. “Alexander, she’s pregnant! We’re having a baby!”

John released Alexander, whose face was shining almost as bright as John’s, as John threw himself toward Eliza.

“Oh my god, we did it,” he cried as Eliza dropped her phone on the floor laughing. “We did it!” He let go of Eliza, who reached to grab her phone as he ran to the window and threw it open. “We’re having a baby!” He cried out to the world, bragging to anyone who would listen. He slammed the window shut after pulling his head in. “Oh my god we’re having a baby,” he deadpanned, the realization finally hitting him. “Oh, god. An actual baby.”

There will be more, I promise (mostly because this fulfills part of one of my self indulgent fics).

[beatricebidelaire]

People leave. It’s all they do.

Ellington was the first. It hadn’t hurt that much back then, or it had, but looking back it seemed insignificant compared to the others. Ellington was not part of the VFD, and growing up in VFD, Kit already knew that eventually they had to cut ties.

Olaf left, next. Which was - well, not really surprising. Not just because what happened that night during La Forza del Destino. There had already been signs before that, very obvious signs. Lemony asked why she didn’t see them earlier. She didn’t want to tell him that she’d seen them all along.

Lemony himself left, too. Going on the lam, with arson accusations to his name, fleeing from the authorities. With Jacques’s help, no less. He used to trust her more than Jacques, she remembered. How the tides have turned. She’d seen news reporting his death once, and then twice, and then another piece of article about him setting a fire, and another death. She heard things from the rumor mill now and then. She wondered how did so many other people catch rumors of him, how did they came across people looking suspiciously like him, while he’d never bothered to reach out.

Beatrice and Bertrand left, next. Not completely, never completely, because it’s not that easy, but enough to leave a huge hole in her life. Kit had known Bertrand’s discomfort with VFD for a while, they’d had their arguments about it, but she’d never thought that he would actually leave. She’d always assumed he wasn’t the type to take that actual step of stepping out that door. He probably wasn’t, she thought, but Beatrice gave him that push. Which was a harder thing for Kit to accept because while she’d known Bertrand’s thoughts, Beatrice had always seem to be handling everything so well. The shiny star in everyone’s eyes, fearless and powerful, never ever going to run away.

In retrospect, Kit wonders if it’d just been in her eyes.

Ironically, while Jacques never left, never left her and VFD behind, he was the one she actually hadn’t seen in years. She’d even met up with Bertrand more recently, briefly exchanging information. But Jacques - somehow they always managed to narrowly or not so narrowly avoid each other.

“You know I’ll always be here,” Dewey says, in such a sincere way that Kit couldn’t let herself say the words “because you’re trapped and can’t actually leave?” that passes through her mind briefly. She gives him a hug, instead.

Later upstairs, Frank pours her a cup of bitter tea. “I know what you’re thinking,” he says, drily. “But the truth is he’s actually not that trapped. He doesn’t have a role to act out to the people visiting the hotel, like Ernest and I. So he’s choosing to stay.” He studies her, and adds. “Probably for you.”

She smiles, cuttingly. “You’re giving me too much credit. You and E more likely contributed to that more than I do.” He won’t leave his brothers behind, after all.

“He loves you,” he says simply. Because when Frank is straightforward, he is very straightforward.

That’s never stopped anyone else from leaving, she thinks.

[spine-buster]

l i p s  l i k e  t h e  g a l a x y ’ s  e d g e  | elias pettersson

Summary:  Every new relationship has its growing pains, its ups and downs.  But Svea and Elias are back in Sweden, where everything is perfect.  And besides, they were best friends before they started their relationship.  So are the growing pains the same?

Word Count: ~14.3k

A/N:  Have I become obsessed with Elias Pettersson?  Mayhaps.  Am I gonna do anything about it?????  NO!!!!!!!!!!  Some more Incredibly Soft Bitch™ hours here, along with some light smut which hopefully makes for a good time.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on part two!   

PART ONE - MADE OF OUTER SPACE  //  

Svea promised Elias she was going to make waffles.

She stood in his kitchen in his apartment in Sundsvall, the morning sun illuminating the apartment as she opened all the windows to let the light in.   Before she did anything for the waffles, she made coffee.  After – and only after – she had her first sip did she take out all the ingredients they had bought yesterday: fresh strawberries and blueberries, the pure maple syrup they’d smuggled back from Vancouver; and, of course, all the necessities for the waffles.  After washing the fruit and slicing the strawberries, she plugged in the waffle iron to heat it up and began measuring everything into a bowl and whisking it all together.

It was only then that she felt a pair of arms snake around her midsection, making her jump at the unexpected touch.  When she got over her initial shock, she placed her hands over his arms.  She could feel his lips kiss her neck and drag their way up to her ear.  She closed her eyes and had to keep herself from sighing.  “Good morning, Elias.”

He hummed into her skin to acknowledge what she said, but continued to kiss along her neck and jawline.  His hands slipped underneath her shirt – his shirt, technically – and onto the exposed skin of her stomach.  Except he didn’t just stop there; he kept moving higher and higher, cupping her breasts in his hands.  She couldn’t hold in her sigh anymore, letting out a breathy sigh as she gripped onto the edge of the countertop.  She could feel him press up against her back.  “Elias…”

“That’s my shirt, pretty girl,” he mumbled against her skin.  

“Yeah…” she tried to collect herself.  “So what?  I’ve been wearing your shirts for days now,” she said, because it was the truth.  They’d gotten back to Sweden almost two weeks ago, and after visiting and catching up with family the first week, they’d retreated back to his apartment in Sundsvall.  In that time, they’d been…busy.  Elias had apparently wanted to keep his promise about making up for lost time and making love on every room and surface of his apartment.  They’d been exploring, so to speak: what they liked and didn’t like; what set them off and what didn’t; what drove them crazy and what they could do without.  It was a definite learning curve for two shy people who didn’t have any experience with anyone but each other, but that was the exact thing that kept them both sane – that they were learning together.  As corny as it sounded, it was their saving grace.  They were shy, but they didn’t have to be shy with each other.  They were quiet, but they didn’t have to be quiet with each other.  

When he began to nip at the skin of her neck, Svea bit her lip.  She couldn’t believe he still wanted it, barely awake and his voice still sleepy, after all the sex they’d been having.  He even had the audacity to pinch her nipples quickly, causing her to squirm.  “Elias…”

“Come back to bed,” he whispered in her ear.

It took everything in her to shake her head and deny him.  If only because she was actually looking forward to the waffles.  “But what about your waffles?  These ingredients will be wasted.”

Elias stopped his movements.  He looked at everything on the counter and the waffle iron heating up, and he came to his senses.  “You’re making me choose between waffles and sex?”

Svea snorted.  “I think I am.”

“How dare you.”

They both broke out into a fit of giggles.  His arms around her waist loosened, but he put his hands on her hips to spin her around.  “Give me one kiss and I’ll leave you alone.”

“I doubt that.”

“I promise,” his tone was begging.  “One kiss.”

Svea digressed.  She stood on her tip-toes (the problem of someone who was only five-foot-two) and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he craned his neck down (the problem of someone who was six-foot-two) to kiss her.  When their lips met, there was a fire ignited inside Svea and Elias that they’d gotten used to over the last few days.  Elias put so much passion into the kiss – as he did with every kiss – but she knew there was more to this one because he wanted to leave her completely dazed.  His lips practically engulfed hers and his tongue filled her mouth.  She couldn’t help but moan into the kiss, especially as he finished it off, biting down on her bottom lip and dragging it away with him, leaving her wanting so much more.  

“Fuck you, Elias,” she barely got out, keeping her eyes closed to savour the moment.

“I’ve been trying to convince you to but you want to make waffles instead.”

Okay, that brought her back to the present.  She glared at him before pinching his arm and shoving him away playfully so she could get back to the bowl of waffle mix.  “Get out of the kitchen.”

When the waffles were finished and plated as fashionably as Svea could present them, she brought them outside to the balcony where Elias was waiting patiently.  He smiled as it was placed in front of him, taking his phone out and snapping a picture of it.  “It looks better than the Vancouver ones we get,” he said.

“No they don’t,” Svea laughed.  “Stop trying to butter me up so you can have sex with me after.”  She paused for dramatic effect.  “I’ll do it anyway.”

They ate in relative silence, admiring the stillness of the morning and the sound of the water splashing up against the bottom of the building.  The city was just waking up, and from across the harbour Svea could see a few cars on the road.  The tranquility of Sundsvall was what she loved: it was a city (at least compared to Ånge), but not too big, the people were nice and unobtrusive, and, of course, being on the water was beautiful.  The Bottenhavet was practically always freezing but it was still her favourite, and she loved to jog along the paths in the city that were carved near the water.  She’d take similar jogs around the water in Vancouver, mainly in David Lam Park since it was so close to the apartment, but it wasn’t the same.  She absolutely loved Vancouver, and could see herself living there for a very long time, perhaps always, but it wasn’t home.  Home was Sweden.  Home is Sweden.  Home was the streets of Ågne and Sundsvall and Timrå and Stockholm and everything in between; home was the drives she and her family would take all around Sweden to see the country; home was dad’s homemade Swedish meatballs and mom’s pickled herring and Sigrid’s egg coffee recipe that was to die for; home was Irene’s warm hugs and Torbjörn’s infections smile and Emil’s dumb jokes.  

Home was sitting on a balcony with Elias eating homemade waffles and having him look into her blue eyes like they held the water of the seven seas.

When they were finished, Svea moved to lie down on the couch as Elias brought the plates to the kitchen.  When he came back outside, he practically collapsed on top of her.  He lay his head on her chest, wrapping one arm around her while the other snuck underneath his shirt she was wearing, feeling her skin, not caring how much he was pushing it up.  Svea began running her fingers through his hair and he practically purred at the action.  

Svea could feel his breathing steady, and she wondered if he really did fall asleep again as he lay on top of her.  When she felt his thumb draw circles along the skin of her ribcage, she got her answer.  That was nice, because she had some things on her mind.  

“Elias?” she asked finally in her trademark sweet voice.

“Svea?” he asked back, mimicking the sweetness.  

She made sure to keep running her fingers through his hair.  “Were you lying to me when you told me you bought this place because you know how much I like the water?”

“Of course not,” he said.  He remembered telling her at Brock’s house in Minnesota when they were in a situation similar to this one, and he didn’t regret it.  It wasn’t something he would be able to keep a secret forever.  “Why would you think I was lying?”

“I don’t know…” she said uneasily.  She sighed slightly.  “I just…I just didn’t really think you made big decisions like that with me in mind.”

Elias looked up at her.  “Svea, I only make big decisions like that with you in mind.”

“Really?”

He nuzzled his head back against her chest.  “I wanted to put your name on the deed with mine but my lawyer and my mom said I should talk to you about it first so I didn’t scare you,” he mumbled.  

Svea’s body stiffened.  Elias felt it, and looked up at her again.  “Elias, you can’t be serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious?”

“This is a whole apartment.”

“So?”

“Elias.”

He made a face, pushing himself further up her body so he could kiss her.  His lips were so soft and for a moment, Svea forgot about everything.  He had that effect on her.  “It was always going to be this way.  Don’t you think?  You were always going to be in my life.  I was always going to be in yours.  There was never anything that was going to separate us.”

“I know,” she nodded her head confidently.  “I just…I don’t know.  But we were just best friends, Elias.  It’s not like we were together like we are now.”

Elias shrugged his shoulders.  “That didn’t matter to me,” he said.  “I would have given you everything, even if you didn’t ask.  I still would.”  He paused for a moment.  “You know that, right Svea?  You have to know that.  I’d give you anything.”

Svea nodded her head silently.  She did know.  She always knew.  It was just different hearing it said out loud, confirmed by Elias now that they were actually together and in a relationship, rather than just best friends.  It was a dichotomy of everything feeling new, yet already knowing every sentiment – that he loved her, that he’d give her the world if he could.  So instead of thinking about it anymore, she acted.  She kissed him again, and as they kept kissing, he moaned, and as he moaned, Svea felt him getting hard against her thigh, and as she felt him get harder, she grinded her hips into his desperately, and as she grinded her hips, he took off her bottoms, and she took off his, and suddenly, there were pantsless on his balcony.

“I want to be on top this time,” she mumbled as Elias kissed down her neck.

He audibly groaned at her request.  “Get on top, then,” he said quickly, wrapping his arms around her and leaning back, bringing her body with him.

Svea lowered herself on top of him slowly, but once he bottomed out, they both moaned out in pleasure.  She kept her top on, because it was one of Elias’s Tre Kronor shirts, and she knew he found it hot.  His hands squeezed her thighs as he looked up at her through hooded eyes.  “You were always meant to be here,” he mumbled out.  “On top of me.  Under me.  Beside me.  Wherever.  But with me.”

Svea nodded her head as she began to rock back and forth.  “I know.”

“And if I have anything to do with it, you’ll always be on top of me,” he made a quick joke.

Svea smiled as she slapped his chest.  He leaned forward to give her a cheeky kiss.  “I love you, Elias,” she said.

“I love you too, Svea.”

>< >< >< >< ><

“Tequiiiiiiilllllllllaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”

Elias let Tequila lick his face as she wagged her tail and barked excitedly.  Emil and Fanny laughed as Elias got on his knees and Tequila practically climbed on top of him, way too excited to see him.  He lay down with her on top of him.  “Oh, God,” Emil chuckled, shaking his head.  “This is never gonna end now.  We may as well all just leave them together.”

“I haven’t seen her in months,” Elias mumbled in between him giving Tequila kisses and Tequila slobbering kisses all over him.  “Let me be.”

“Is that what it’s like in bed with him, Svea?”

Elias kicked his brother’s shin, causing Emil to yelp out in pain.  Fanny followed up with a slap to the arm.  Comments like this were to be expected from Emil after they told their families.  Everybody was so nonchalant about it that Elias and Svea were almost offended.  “Oh, finally?” was her mother’s and Sigrid’s reaction.  Her father had the gall to joke, “Weren’t you two always together?”.  Torbjörn asked, “Okay…and?” and Irene actually said, “Are we supposed to be surprised?”.  Suffice to say, Elias and Svea did not get the reaction they thought they would.  It was part hilarious, part annoying.

“She’s good with two longer walks or three short walks a day,” Fanny explained.  “Always with the harness.  And she eats when we eat – well, right after we eat.  The cup to measure is in the kibble bag.  And the cats – we try to brush them twice a week.  They eat at the same time as Tequila—”

“You told us!  We know how to take care of animals, Fanny,” Elias said as he rubbed Tequila’s belly.  

“Quiet!” Svea shushed him.  “They’re her babies, Elias.”  She turned back to Fanny.  “Go on.”

“She’s good with the crate at night, but if she gets fussy just put a treat in there.  It works every time,” Fanny continued.  “And…I think that’s it?  I’ll still be available by text if anything happens.”

“I’ll make sure to send you daily pupdates,” Svea smiled.  “Have fun with your family.”

“Are you kids going to be okay in the big bad city all alone?” Emil joked again.

They were back in Ånge, which made his joke all the more nuanced.  “We can call the neighbours if we feel scared at night,” Svea said.  “Hopefully they have an extra bed.”

“Extra two beds.  I don’t want any funny business while we’re away that leads to a niece or nephew in nine months.”

Elias kicked him in the shin again.  “Fanny, you guys gotta go now before I beat him up.”

The girls hugged as Emil got into the driver’s seat of the car.  Elias finally stood up and made Tequila sit as they waved at Emil and Fanny.  They drove away slowly, and once they were out of sight, Elias turned to Svea.  “Alone in Ånge,” he smiled.

“It sounds like the title of a horror movie.”

Elias snorted, shaking his head.  “I’m serious.  I don’t think I’ve ever been alone in Ånge for years.”

He made a point.  Svea’s parents were already in Torremolinos, Spain, for an extended vacation.  Elias had made sure to buy his parents a trip to the Algarve in Portugal so they could spend some time in the southern European sun, too.  Sigrid was in Stockholm, as she usually was, and now, Emil and Fanny were going on a quick camping vacation with her family.  Elias and Svea were tasked to take care of all the animals while Emil and Fanny were gone for the week.  As if they needed to be asked.  “You’re actually right,” Svea commented.  “No family to visit or spend time with.  What are we going to do with ourselves now that no-one is here?”

“We could rent all the Austin Powers movies again and eat every chip bag in the city,” Elias smiled.  

“Or we could rent The Prince and Me and I can fantasize about falling in love with a Danish prince and making out with him in the stacks of the library,” Svea wiggled her eyebrows.

Elias feigned hurt in his face.  “You fantasize about that when you have a Swedish boyfriend right here?”

She shrugged innocently.  “Maybe.”

���How about we watch Brooklyn 9-9 instead,” Elias offered.

“So I can fantasize about Jake Peralta?”

Elias grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him playfully, leaning down to kiss her so she’d shut up.  “You’re killing me here,” he mumbled against her lips.  “Should I put on a detective outfit?”

Svea giggled uncontrollably as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again.  “How about I go to the supermarket to load up on snacks, and you get Tequila settled in and pick something for us to watch?”

Elias smiled.  “You trust me to pick something?”

“We’ll probably end up making out halfway through anyway.”

He kissed her again.  “I made the smartest decision of my fucking life.”

Svea went inside Elias’s parents’ house briefly to get the keys to the car, driving quickly to the supermarket to pick up a couple of bags of chips, but also some crackers and different cheeses so they could class it up a little bit.  Knowing Elias, he would appreciate the “healthier” option.  She quickly grabbed a basket and began roaming through the store, picking up the crackers and a slice of brie, her favourite.  

“Svea?  Is that you?” she heard a voice behind her.  She whipped around to see a familiar face – Emma Gardner, an old classmate that she had a few classes with in high school.  They’d kept in touch on and off, but there was no bad blood between them when they didn’t talk, and Svea knew there wasn’t a bad bone in Emma’s body.  “Oh my God, I thought I heard that you’d be back in town for the summer!”

The two girls hugged, warm and friendly and with an easiness that two friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while always had.  “Yeah, I’ve been back in Sundsvall for a while now, but back in Ånge for at least a week with Elias watching Emil and Fanny’s dog,” Svea explained.

“Of course,” Emma smiled.  “Where you are, Elias isn’t far behind.  Look at Vancouver.”

“Exactly,” Svea giggled, loving how Emma framed it.  Svea always made a point about Elias following her to Vancouver and not the other way around, and although she usually said it in a joking manner, she was glad the sentiment was catching on with others.  Elias would even say the same thing, so it wasn’t like he cared how he looked like in the situation.  

“Listen, if you’re in town for the week, Jonas and I are having a dinner party on Friday,” Emma said.  “Just something small, you know how it is.  It would be lovely if you and Elias came.  I know Jonas would love seeing him again.”

Svea smiled.  “I’m sure he’d love to see Jonas again too.  I’ll mention it to him,” she said.  “Do you want me to make anything?”

“Everybody is preparing a main dish,” Emma said.  “Make whatever you want and then bring it over my parents’ place at seven.  They’re in Gothenburg visiting Sara.”

“Will do.”

Emma gave her one last, big, genuine smile.  “It’s so nice to see old friends again,” she mused.  “We all change so much but when we get together, it’s like everything is still the same.”

>< >< >< >< ><

Elias made sure to get all his kisses in before he and Svea walked over to Emma Gardner’s house, Svea holding a tray of homemade sesame chicken while he carried a bottle of wine.  They didn’t hold hands, because Elias didn’t want people to know.  And they weren’t going to tell anybody tonight; as far as everyone else was concerned, they were still just best friends.  It was a mutual decision, but one provoked by Elias.  It wasn’t that he was ashamed; it was just that he was already the subject of a lot of gossip in Ånge, and he didn’t want to be the subject of more.  Not only that – and more importantly – he didn’t want Svea to be the subject of gossip at all.  People their age knowing they finally got together wouldn’t shut up about it.  He wanted everything and everyone to be quiet.  If he had it his way, everyone would find out when they were out of Ånge and back in Vancouver.  That way he didn’t have to talk about it.  That way he didn’t have to field questions from old classmates about how they got together. 

They arrived at the house, Elias handing Jonas the bottle of wine and Svea handing the dish of sesame chicken to Emma, who took it happily and immediately placed it on the dining table as Elias and Svea took off their shoes.  They saw three familiar faces in the apartment – old schoolmates Erik, Kristina, and Oliver – and met three new faces: Magnus, Kristina’s boyfriend; Axel, Oliver’s boyfriend, and Oscar, a university friend of Jonas’s who was visiting from Karlstad.  

The wine was already poured.  Everyone was standing in around in the living room chatting when Elias and Svea arrived, and they were just waiting for one more couple – Brigitte, another former classmate, and her boyfriend Soren.  The boys in attendance were pretty thrilled to see Elias, and they immediately stole him away from Svea, asking about hockey – the NHL, Vancouver, and the girls.  Svea settled into conversation with the ladies, telling them about school and Vancouver – the restaurants, the nightlife, the boys.  

When the doorbell rang and old classmate Brigitte Danielsson walked through the door, an older boyfriend in tow who introduced himself as Soren Hölmberg, Svea tried not to let her disdain show.  She never liked Brigitte.  Pretentious in high school despite having no reason to be, Brigitte would use her good looks and conniving charm to make friends, get ahead, and ultimately get what she wanted.  Svea couldn’t ever imagine thinking she was better than someone else, so Brigitte’s general attitude always baffled her.  

Emma asked Svea to run to the fridge to get the white wine out of the freezer.  Brigitte followed behind her to uncork her bottle of red.  “Why am I not surprised to see you and Elias coming together?” Brigitte smiled like the Cheshire cat as she stuck the corkscrew into the top of the bottle.

“There’s no reason you should be.  You know what Elias and I are like,” Svea brushed off the comment, waiting to use the same corkscrew.  

“So nothing has changed since high school?”

“We’re still best friends, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“So neither of you have moved on,” Brigitte commented.

Svea bit her tongue.  She wanted to say so much to Brigitte but knew she couldn’t.  At least, not here.  If Svea saw her at the supermarket at any point during her remaining time in Ånge she’d give her a piece of her mind.  Beyond that, the last thing Brigitte said to her before they went into the kitchen together was “hi”.  It was a bit forward talking about something so personal with a person you haven’t seen in almost three years, Svea thought.  “There was no reason to move on.  What would we have moved on to?”

“I don’t know,” Brigitte shrugged her shoulders, but she knew exactly what she was doing and exactly what she was implying.  Svea knew Brigitte and, suffice to say, she hadn’t changed since high school.  “People who are more like you.  It’s hard to believe the quiet alien boy who was a prodigy in hockey and had girls flinging themselves on him left, right, and centre stuck around with the quiet girl whose head was always in a book instead of in his lap, that’s all,” she said, sliding the corkscrew across the counter before walking away and back into the dining area.  

Brigitte knew nothing.  Move on to people ‘more like you’?  There was nobody in the world more like her than Elias.  Svea rolled her eyes before uncorking the bottle and walking back to the dining table.  Almost everyone had already taken their seats, and Svea found her spot beside Elias.  Jonas began passing around the food.  Soon, everybody’s plates were filled with food and glasses were filled with wine.

The discussion around the dinner table was mostly to do with university – once the hockey talk was over.  Everyone was in varying programs, so it was mostly just a discussion of what new things everybody was learning – the things they’d read, the classes they’d taken, things that opened their eyes and things that made them think.  It was a lot of shared experiences, a lot of expanded horizons for a bunch of kids from a tiny town in Sweden who went to high school in a small city in Sweden.  Talks about literature they’d read – Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner in American Literature, The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck in Voices from the Great Depression, essays from Nick Bostrom and Per Bauhn and novellas by Ingmar Bergman.  Social contracts written by Thomas Hobbes and John Locke and Jean-Jacques Rousseau.  Politics in Sweden and the European Union.  

That’s when things got interesting.

“You can’t honestly believe that,” Svea deadpanned to Soren as she let her ice cream liquify in her small bowl.  People at the other end of the table were discussing something else, but Svea had the absolute delight of sitting across from this 26-year-old bozo who did things like say ‘To be devil’s advocate’ just so he could say something provocative or against the norm.  He was that type of asshole and, in a mean-spirited fashion, Svea thought him to be a perfect match for Brigitte.  “Trickle-down economics doesn’t work.  I don’t know how you can think that it does.  The capitalist system does not work in favour of society’s poorest citizens.  It just doesn’t.  Trickle-down economics was just invented by fat rich guys to give themselves tax breaks so they can hoard all their money and not pay their workers liveable wages.”

“Are you saying they don’t create jobs?” Soren smiled at her patronizingly.

“Maybe you don’t understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.  I never said a thing about job creation,” Svea retorted.  “I’m saying that it’s inevitable that a capitalist system exploits its most vulnerable workers.  And for you to sit there and say that it works when it so obviously doesn’t is just ignorant.”

“But the most vulnerable needs jobs, don’t they?” he pressed.

“The most vulnerable in society require justice, equality, dignity – so many other things before they need a job.  And unless society’s systems are created and executed to help create that justice, equality, and dignity, they’ll never get it.  But they should fight to get it.  They have a right to.”

“So you adhere to Hobbes’s view on the social contract then?  That people should depose of governments and systems that they don’t like because they don’t get what they want from it?”

Svea furrowed her brows.  She wanted to wipe that smug, pretentious, pompous, dastardly smile off his face.  “You have your social contracts mixed up, sweetheart.  It was Locke, not Hobbes, who believed that when the king or the ruler becomes a tyrant and acts against the interests of the people, the people have a right and an obligation to resist his authority so the social contract can be dissolved and the process of creating a new political society can happen.  It’s not about getting what they want, it’s about upholding the contract.  That’s what it’s called a social contract.  Anybody who’s taken an introduction to philosophy class knows that’s Locke because it inspired Thomas Jefferson and the other leaders of the American Revolution.”

Svea was getting heated.  Elias’s eyes had been darting back and forth between her and Soren, trying to take in everything they were saying.  It was hard to follow for him.  He had no clue what they were talking about.  “Be careful, Soren,” Brigitte spoke up, smiling mischievously behind her wine glass.  “Svea won all the debating awards in high school.”

“That’s easy when you’re in Norrland,” he quipped, to which Brigitte laughed.  Svea wasn’t laughing.  Soren took notice.  “Oh come on, Svea.  I’m just messing with you.  It’s just some friendly banter.  Has a guy never flirted with you before?” he asked.  Was that meant to be flirting?!  Svea still didn’t respond.  “You get quite feisty.  Are you like this in your tutorials, too?  You must get really good marks for participation.”

“I get good marks for everything,” she said dismissively.  

Soren didn’t let up.  After the third and fourth glasses of wine were poured, and after everyone retired to the couches or the floor, lighting their cigarettes because any twenty-somethings who fancied themselves as intellectuals took up smoking to look and play the part, Soren continued to chat with Svea.  Jonas and Oscar struck up a conversation with Elias, and he was trying to be polite in engaging with them while also eavesdropping on Svea and Soren.  He couldn’t help it.  They continued to discuss things he had no clue about, but he still listened.  Still made sure Soren wasn’t trying to…pull anything.  He was older and smarter and had a nice head of hair and a good beard and every time Elias looked at him, he wanted to punch him.  He didn’t like how close he was standing to Svea.  He didn’t like how Soren looked at her how he looked at her.  Shouldn’t he be focused on Brigitte – on at least her fifth glass of wine and chain-smoking in a chair next to the front window – anyway?  

“The term you’re looking for is American exceptionalism,” he heard Svea say.  

“That essay was a complete farce.”

“The film American History X with Edward Norton would be a good education for you on how white power movements target youth to brainwash them.”

“It’s pretty clear as day that Donald Trump stokes the fires of white nationalism.  How can you say it doesn’t?  What happened in Charlottesville was a disgrace.  And no, it’s not freedom of speech.  No.  No it isn’t – not to me.  Not in the Canadian sense.  No, no – Americans have amendments – Americans do.  Not Canadians.  Canadians have the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.  And if your speech promotes hate against an identifiable group, it’s no longer just free speech, it’s hate speech.  It’s – no, stop – it’s hate speech and it should have consequences.  It’s not free speech.”

They disappeared.  Soren led Svea into the kitchen, probably to get more wine or to offer her one of those awful and disgusting herbal cigarettes he’d rolled himself like a dick, and Elias couldn’t see them, couldn’t hear them.  He got nervous.  It wasn’t that he needed to be in sight of Svea at all times, like some overprotective asshole, but he didn’t like Soren.  And when he didn’t like somebody, he didn’t trust them.  Especially with Svea.  But he tried to calm down, to think nothing of it.  He thought about how he should probably google what a social contract was when they got back home.  How he should google what American exceptionalism is.

Elias because increasingly aware of the differences between him and Svea.  For all that they were the same, their fundamental difference – and perhaps the one most glaringly obvious to him now – was that she knew all of this stuff and he didn’t.  She knew what a social contract was, what American exceptionalism was, who all these different political figures and philosophers were and he just…didn’t.  And because he didn’t, he couldn’t ask her about it.  He couldn’t talk to her about it.  No wonder she’d barely stayed quiet all evening, and was barely staying quiet now with Soren – she could actually talk about it!  Speak her mind!  Show off what she knew!  She couldn’t do that with him.  She couldn’t do that when hockey occupied his life more than anything, when he traveled, when he knew what she was studying but didn’t know about what she was studying.  He was out of touch, so different than everyone else in the room, definitely not as smart as Svea and it wasn’t even close.

He tried not to think about it, but it was all he could think about.  

Eventually, Svea and Soren came back.  Elias didn’t know how long it had been; he couldn’t tell.  But Kristina and Magnus had already left, so Svea wanted to leave too.  They hugged everybody, and said their goodbyes, and put on their shoes, and closed the door behind them.  As they walked up the street, far enough away from the house, she grabbed his hand.  “Did you like that?” she asked.  Her voice was soft.

Elias nodded his head.  “It was nice to see everyone.  To see what they’ve all done since we left school.”

“Too bad we had to see Brigitte again,” Svea quipped.  “Soren was interesting, too.”

Interesting.  Interesting.  Elias nodded his head.  “He seemed very worldly.”

“You know he’s like, almost twenty-seven?”

“Oh yeah?”

“Seemed weird to me that he was hanging out with a bunch of 21 year olds trying to prove he was smarter than everyone else.”

When they got back to the house, they let Tequila out one last time before going upstairs and getting into bed.  Svea could tell something was up with Elias, but it was one in the morning and she didn’t want to press it.  He was probably just mentally exhausted like she was – being around a big group of people for so long took a lot out of them.  And it was different when it was a big group of people you knew versus a group of people you knew but didn’t converse with a lot on a daily basis.  So instead of asking about it, Svea instead cuddled up to him over the covers, draping an arm over him and giving him one last kiss before falling asleep, hoping it would help.

***

Svea hadn’t slept well all night.  Because of Elias.

The way that he was clutching on to her, like she was a feather and would fly away at the slightest bit of wind, confirmed to her that there was something wrong.  Elias liked to always be touching her in some way or another, especially in the last few weeks – hand holding, hand on thigh, sitting close – but this felt different.  This felt like something was wrong, that there was something bothering him that he wasn’t verbalizing, and it was eating him up inside.  He’d been tossing and turning the whole night (she’d felt it).  He’d gotten up a few times throughout the night to go to the washroom or the kitchen for water, taking longer than she would have liked each time.  

His body was so rigid, so cold.  So different from how it usually felt.

“What’s wrong, Elias?” she asked softly, looking up at him though she kept her head on his chest.  She brought one of her hands up to cup his face gently.  He leaned into her touch.

“Nothing.  Don’t worry,” he said.

She pushed herself up, still on top of him but perching herself against her elbow.  “Stop lying to me.”

“Svea…”

“Elias, you always tell me you would never lie to me,” she used his own words.  He knew she was right, but it pained him to make her worry over something so…stupid.  “Did somebody say something last night?  Was it Brigitte?”

Elias shook his head.  “It wasn’t Brigitte.”

“Then what is it?”

Elias took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.  He didn’t want to get emotional in front of her, even though he was getting emotional.  Just thinking about it made his heart hurt and head spin.  “Am I holding you back?” he asked softly, but directly, looking into her eyes.  “Be honest.”

Svea furrowed her brows.  She didn’t quite understand his question.  “Holding me back from what?”

“From…I don’t know.  Things you want to do.  Things you want to talk about, since I can’t talk about them.”

She could see the tears begin to well in his eyes, and in that small, emotional moment she knew.  She knew what he meant by his question, what he meant by his words.  It made her heart break realizing he was thinking this way, that he could ever think this way.  “Elias, no.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“Elias, no,” she said more emphatically.

“Because you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met,” he huffed out nervously, his cheeks red and the first tear escaping down his eye.

She shook her head and used her thumb to wipe it away.  “I’m not that smart.”

“Yes you are!” he affirmed, his voice cracking.  More tears escaped now, and she moved even closer to him as she continued to wipe them all away.  “You’re the smartest person to me.  You know so much about politics and geography and history and philosophy, and you always explain it so well, and I’m just…just here, being a hockey player, and you could be…you could be out there, talking to all these different, like, intellectual people—”

“Elias—”

“—instead of having to explain stupid things to me—”

“Elias,” she said sternly.  “Elias, stop it.  I would rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.”

“You were talking to that guy last night, and I know, I know you weren’t flirting or anything, but I know he was, and he was able to talk to you about all these different things, and then I thought about how bad you must want to talk about that sort of stuff all the time because that’s what you’re going to school for, and you can’t with me, you just can’t, and it was awful just sitting there and not being able to contribute because I have absolutely no clue what a social contract is or what any of it means—”

“Elias,” she interrupted him.  She knew it was eating Elias up inside.  “Soren was some pretentious pseudo-intellectual who didn’t even know Vancouver was in Canada.  He made me so mad by insisting that Vancouver was in the States that I almost slapped in at the party.  He’s Brigitte’s boyfriend – I should have known anyone that hands out with her would be that way – but he’s an idiot, Elias, the worst kind of idiot.  The type that thinks he’s not an idiot just because he reads books and went to university.”

Elias was silent.  He sniffled a few times, wiping away his own tears.  “I know it sounds selfish of me to say, but I don’t want to lose you, Svea.  I just got you.”

“You’ll never lose me, Elias,” she whispered, her thumb grazing over his lips lightly.  

“And you know how much I love you, right?” he asked, his voice still a bit shaky even though she shot down any notion that Soren was match to Elias, or equal to him in any way.  “Svea, in my eyes you hung the moon in the sky.  You’re the sun and the stars and I just live in your universe,” he said.

Svea nodded his head.  “I love you more than anything, Elias.  I don’t want you ever thinking you’re holding me back or anything like that.  You’re the only one for me in this whole damn universe.  We wouldn’t have stayed best friends for so long if you weren’t.”  She paused briefly.  “Do you remember what you told me at Brock’s?”

“I can’t now.  I’m too emotional,” he admitted.

“When I asked you if you ever get sick of me because we’re always together, you said that we’re an extension of the other, and you said if you couldn’t be in the same room with yourself all the time, then who can you be with,” she recounted his words.  He nodded and stayed silent to catch his breath.  “If I could go anywhere, to any planet, to any star, to any galaxy at the edge of the universe, I’d just want to be in a room with you.”

Tears poured out of Elias’s eyes at her words, and he clung onto her with everything he had in him as he buried his face into the crook of her neck.  She felt his tears on her skin, and she clung on to him as tightly as he clung on to her.  She held him for a while, rubbing soothing circles onto his back.  

She let him cry.  It was important to let him cry.  

When his shaking stopped and his breathing steadied, and she knew it was safe, Svea was able to look him in the eye again.  He was no longer embarrassed.  Nothing was off limits now.  “You’re the only person in this world for me, Elias.  Nobody else comes close.”

He nodded.  He understood.  

“I love you,” she whispered.  

“I love you too,” he said.

“Show me,” she urged.  “Show me how much you love me.”

Almost immediately he began kissing Svea – big, wet, open mouth kisses that left her completely breathless and utterly hypnotized the longer they went on, and they went on for a long time – longer than she was used to, but she wasn’t exactly complaining.  More kisses, more heat.  More touching.  More moaning.  More hands wandering, more hands squeezing.  His hand traveled down to her core.  Svea’s breath hitched in her throat at his touch.  She mewled into a kiss.  “Elias—”

“Shhh…” he began kissing down her neck.  She mewled out again as he teased her hot core without any warning.  She squeezed her legs together, the sensation new.  “I’m gonna show you how much I love you.”

“Show me,” Svea nodded quickly.  “Show me I’m yours.”

The words were simple and innocent but it ignited something within Elias.  He rolled her over onto her back, fussing with her shirt before tugging it up and over her head and diving right towards her breasts, capturing a nipple in his mouth.  Svea let out a surprised gasp.  She could feel him roll his tongue and she closed her eyes.  She arched her back at his touch.  “Elias—" she stuttered out, unable to form any other words besides his name.  When he was done with her breasts he kissed a trail down to the waistband of her pajama pants before pulling them and her underwear off all in one go, flinging them across the room.  “Elias—”

No warning.  No precursor.  He just dove right in.  Svea shrieked out at the feeling of his tongue between her folds.  It was all new to her, and she didn’t know how to feel – the only thing she knew was that it felt good.  Like, really good.  It took her a while to get to her senses before she could speak.  “Elias—” she gulped.  “El…Elias—”

“S’it feel good?” he mumbled against her lips.

She nodded her head feverishly.   “Y—Y—Yes,” she barely managed to get out.  She’d never felt anything like it.  “Fuck, Elias” she huffed.

“Tell me what you want,” he mumbled again, snaking his hands up to squeeze her breasts.  

She could barely think.  “I want…”

“Come on, pretty girl,” he cooed.

“I want you to make me cum, Elias,” she was barely able to breathe.  

Elias continued with as much passion and enthusiasm as she’d ever seen, thoroughly and honestly enjoying the experience of eating her out like she was his favourite meal even though he hadn’t tasted her yet.  His laps were rhythmic and perfect, his sucking flawless and immaculate.  Like everything else he did in his life, Elias was perfect at it.  Svea was seeing stars.  She arched her back again, huffing and puffing and trying not to go crazy.  “I’m so close, Elias.”

“Cum for me, Svea.  Let me taste you.”

When she came, her entire body shook; every part of her, from head to toe, felt like it was on fire.  She cried out, chanting his name over and over again like a prayer before squeezing his head between her thighs.  When he lapped up every last drip, he rose from his position, moving to kiss her.  She tasted herself on his lips and groaned.  She wrapped her legs around him and he snuck his hand between them and positioned himself at her entrance, teasing her.  She was barely recovered from her orgasm when she felt the tip of his hard cock teasing her.  She dug her nails into the skin of his back.  “Fuck me, Elias,” she mewled out, knowing it would drive him crazy – wanting to drive him crazy.  “Show me I’m yours.”

Everything about them up until now had been so soft, but this was different.  There was a different sort of intensity now, a different sort of pleasure and a different sort of love they were both feeling.  He entered her in one quick thrust, making her cry out again.  There was nothing soft about the way he proceeded to fuck her – he felt possessive and selfish and greedy all at once, wanting her only for himself.  The sounds she was letting out told him she wanted it that way – she liked what he was doing, and how he was doing it, and she wanted to be only his instead of being anyone else’s.  That gave him the confidence to keep going, to keep fucking her like he was, because if she wanted it, and wanted it that way, that’s all that mattered.  

He looked her right in the eye as he thrust in and out of her.  “I’m yours,” his voice was deep and serious.  “I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“I’m yours and you’re mine,” Svea repeated after him.

They came together.  Svea’s orgasm felt more powerful than her fist, and she could feel Elias filling her up, his body shaking after his last thrusts.  He collapsed on top of her and buried his face in her neck.  They caught their breaths slow and steady, trying to make the feeling last.  He was still inside her when she felt his lips grazing the skin of her neck, dragging their way up to her jawline and to her ear.  “I’m yours and you’re mine,” he whispered.

She smiled.  “I’m yours and you’re mine.”

>< >< >< >< ><

“What would you classmates say if you showed up to class with a Louis Vuitton backpack?”

Svea gave Elias one of her looks as he browsed through the backpacks at the Louis Vuitton store in Stockholm, Emil behind him trying one on and Fanny beside her, looking down at the jewelry in the glass case.  “Don’t even think about it,” she mumbled.  In their last few days in Stockholm, Elias had been beyond generous with her.  She felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  “And it’s summer.  Don’t make me think about school.”

From beside her, Fanny laughed.  “You already bought her the Chanel bag, Elias.”

“And the Prada sunglasses,” Emil quipped.

“And the tickets for tomorrow night even though they were sold out,” Fanny added again.  

The more they listed, the redder Svea got.  She looked to Elias.  He shrugged.  “She might need another bag.  You never know.”

Fanny looked over at Svea dramatically.  “Do you need another bag?” she asked, a smirk on her face.

“What I need is food,” Svea giggled.  She saw Elias smirking from his spot.  “But I know we’ll be here another hour until Emil tries on all the backpacks and makes a decision.”

“You know me very well, Svea,” Emil said absent-mindedly, still checking himself out in the mirror.

As they sauntered around the store, looking at all the pretty things while Elias helped Emil decide on a backpack, Svea and Fanny chatted and looked at wallets and the limited edition purses, which cost about double what Svea was paying in tuition at UBC.  Svea always loved Fanny – she was funny and bubbly and had her head on straight.  Plus, she was an animal lover and let Svea come over any time she wanted to play and cuddle with Tequila, Whiskey, and Diesel.  Svea appreciated her kindness.  

“I didn’t think it was possible to see Elias even happier, but I think he is,” she mentioned when they were far enough away from the boys, pretending to look at the shoes.  “I mean, he’s always happy with you, no matter what you guys are doing, but now especially so.”

“You think so?” Svea blushed.  

“Oh, I know so,” Fanny nodded.  “Everyone can see it.  Even yesterday…you didn’t see, but when we were all at lunch at that pasta place, he just stared at you for a good, like, fifteen seconds.  Just in awe of you.”

“What was I doing?”

“Stuffing tagliatelle into your face.”  

Both girls giggled but a shiver ran up Svea’s spine.  She hadn’t caught him doing that – and she didn’t know if she would have wanted to.  “I hope I looked semi-attractive doing it and didn’t have alfredo sauce spilling down my chin.”

“I think it’s just that…well, now that you two are together, everything is just…the way it should be, you know?” Fanny continued.  “Me and Emil, you and Elias…Irene and Törbjörn were over the moon when you guys told them.  Over.  The.  Moon.”

“Really?  They seemed pretty…unsurprised when we told them.”

“Oh, well of course we were all unsurprised.  But that doesn’t mean they were any less happy,” Fanny explained.  “They were over the moon that it happened now instead of you guys dancing around it for the next few years.  You know they love you, Svea.”

“Did we keep them waiting too long?” Svea joked.

“You kept all of us waiting long enough.”

After Emil bought his new backpack, they headed to Griffin’s Steakhouse, one of the best in Stockholm, for dinner.  Elias was recognized by a few people as they were waiting for their table, and he politely took pictures with them.  Svea was sure she was in the background of some of them, holding her Chanel and Prada shopping bags like some sort of bougie creeper.  It happened quite a bit in Vancouver as well, and everyone was generally nice and polite about it.  Elias made time for the kids especially, but in this case, it was mostly grown men.  Nobody bothered them while eating, which is all that mattered.  

They walked back to the hotel.  Emil and Fanny hugged and said goodnight to Elias and Svea before walking down the hallway to their room.  Elias stuck their key card in the door.  He threw his bags down onto the bed and collapsed on it, starfish style, as Svea giggled.  “I’m going to take a shower,” she said, placing her bags neatly on the chair at the desk.  Elias groaned in response.  “Are you going to be okay if I leave you alone or do you need help changing into your pajamas?” she asked like he was a little kid.

She heard him snort.  “As much as I want you to peel every article of clothing off of me, I’ll leave you be.”

Svea took a long shower – long enough for her to feel completely cleansed of the day.  She put one of the luxurious bathrobes on, tightening it around her waist before brushing her teeth, putting on her moisturizer, and grabbing her hairbrush.  As she brushed through her short hair, she heard the door handle turn.  Elias’s head popped through.  “Hey.”

She looked over at him squeezing his way through the door.  He still hadn’t changed into his pajamas.  She wondered if he’d stayed on the bed face down like a starfish for the duration of her shower.  “Could have knocked,” she smirked.

“Cause I haven’t seen you naked?”

She scrunched her face at him as she sat on the toilet, continuing to brush out the tangles in her hair.  “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” he shook his head.  “I just wanted to give you something.”

“If it’s your dick, the time has passed for shower sex.”

“No, it’s…”

As he trailed off, Svea noticed for the first time that he was very clearly holding something behind his back.  She was skeptical.  “What’d you do, Elias?”

“You know when you and Fanny were in Chanel?  Before Emil and I came in?”

“Yeah…”

Slowly, his hands came forward from behind his back to reveal a box wrapped in white paper and sealed on the edges with a wax seal.  She didn’t recognize anything special about it, or know what it was at first.  He handed it to her and she examined it quickly.  “What is it?”

“Why don’t you open it?”

She placed it in her lap and unwrapped it delicately, making sure not to break the wax seal.  It must have been important, she thought, if the thing was wax sealed.  Unfolding the paper and peeling it back gently, she saw a red box.  Cartier.  She looked up at Elias.  “What did you do?” she repeated, her voice more accusatory but also more nervous than it was moments earlier.

“Svea, come on.  Open it.”

She pushed the small button.  Inside, the infamous Love bracelet in gold sat staring back at her on its plush velvet.  It was shiny and sparkled in the light of the bathroom as Svea held it in her lap, staring at it like it wasn’t real.  In real life, she didn’t get things like this.  She didn’t even come close to them.  Now, that had changed.  “Elias…” she whispered.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Of course I like it.”

“I know it’s kinda like, basic or whatever…like a lot of people have them—”

“I don’t know a lot of people who have them,” Svea interrupted him.  “The only person I know who has them is Grace and that’s because she bought them for herself.”

“Yeah,” Elias nodded quickly.  “I just thought…well…look on the inside,” he said, suddenly so shy and nervous about it all.  

She took it off its holder and held it up to her eye.  She saw the traditional engravings of Cartier, the gold quality, and everything else.  But then something else caught her eye.  Some intricate script.  Small, but legible.  

I’m yours and you’re mine

She stared at Elias.  “You didn’t.”

He only smiled.  He bent down on his knees in front of her, in between her legs, resting his hands on her thighs over the plush fabric of the robe.  He could see her admiring it, taking a second look at the engraving and at how much the gold shone in the light.  “Can I put it on you?” he asked softly.

Svea nodded.  He grabbed the screwdriver from the box and screwed it onto her wrist easily, taking his time, making sure to make every moment last.  He knew that it was just a piece of jewelry – an expensive piece of jewelry – but she so obviously loved it, and loved the sentiment, and he was an extremely sentimental person, which is why he got it for her in the first place.  They stayed silent until he was finished, and even then, they only smiled at each other – bashful smiles, their cheeks red at the simplicity yet intimacy of the moment.  He couldn’t help but lean up slightly to give her a quick kiss.  “Won’t be the last time I kneel in front of you, you know.”

Svea smiled even wider, but shook her head playfully.  “If you say so.  We’re only twenty-one.”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” he said, giving her another quick kiss.  “If you wanted to get married tomorrow, I’d do it.”

“I know you would.  That’s why we can’t,” she giggled.  

“I love you, you know.  As much as hockey is my life, sometimes I just wish it could be summer all the time so I get to spend it with you,” he whispered.

That was something new.  Elias loved her, but he was only ever obsessed with hockey.  It was his entire life.  It was the other love of his life, and how he made his living – how he was able to afford Cartier bracelets and Chanel bags and surprise Coldplay tickets even though they were sold out months ago.  To hear that he wanted it to be summer all the time – a time when he couldn’t play hockey – was new.  He’d never said anything like that before.  She didn’t know if he’d openly admit that to anyone else besides her, either.  She felt privileged knowing, but now she was also the gatekeeper of the secret.

He picked her up.  She yelped slightly, giggling all the way to the bed where he plopped her down.  By this point, her robe had become loose, and she took it off to change into her pajamas.  She tucked herself into bed, Elias slipping in beside her, cuddling up to her.  In almost no time, she felt his breathing steady and he was peacefully asleep.  

She wasn’t.

She tried to fall asleep like a regular person, especially because of the day they had ahead of them tomorrow, but she couldn’t.  She kept thinking about what he said.  Sometimes I wish it could be summer all the time.  Did he really mean that?  Or was he just saying things for the sake of saying them?  Because he was in love?  Because he was letting that feeling of intense love overtake him?  Svea knew hockey meant more to him than a lot of other things – than most things – though Elias was always intent on being remembered for being a good person rather than just being a good hockey player.  Did he only want her in the summer, when he didn’t have to think about hockey?  

She tossed and turned thinking about that question.  And when she couldn’t toss and turn anymore, when she couldn’t stare up at the ceiling anymore, she got out of bed gently, making sure not to wake him.  She walked over to the sliding door and stepped out onto the balcony, breathing in the night air.

Did Elias only want a summertime Svea?  Did he only want the version of her that he was with now?  She thought about what she was like during the summer – happier, less stressed, more carefree about everything.  No wonder, since she didn’t have readings and assignments to worry about.  And it was no wonder now, since this was essentially her last summer before things got really serious.  She had a lot of decisions to make in the upcoming year about her future and what career path she wanted to go down.  She was taking the GRE in case she wanted to pursue a Master’s in public policy.  She was taking the LSAT in case she wanted to pursue law school.  She was sure there was some other entrance exam out there that she needed to take if she wanted to go into something else, too.  Another thing to stress her out.  

What if she couldn’t always be summertime Svea for him?  Elias deserved her at her best, not when she was tired and stressed out and crying over bad marks and awful professors.  She knew she couldn’t always be her best for him, especially now that they were in a relationship.  Friendships were different – they just were.  Relationships were an entirely different ballgame, and Svea wondered if they were going to be able to maintain what they had and were experiencing right now: the laughter, the fun, the joking, the good sex.  The good parts.  Would they be able to withstand the hard parts: the stress, the pressure, the traveling, the bad games, the bad marks?  One part of her said of course they could, because they’d been doing it for years.  Another part of her said things are different now, and they can never go back to what they were.

Svea didn’t know what to think.

***

“There’s something wrong.”

Svea had been sipping on her beer as she and Elias were waiting outside of the stadium’s washrooms for Fanny and Emil.  The opening band had finished their set, and now everybody was waiting for Coldplay to take the stage.  Svea was giddy-nervous, having remembered how amazing the band was live last time she saw them with Sigrid at least five years ago now, but the thoughts from last night were stuck in the back of her mind.  

“What do you mean?” Svea asked innocently.  “You think Emil got stuck in a toilet or something?”

“No.  Something’s wrong with you,” he clarified.  “What’s been bugging you since this morning?”

So he knew.  And judging by the look on his face, and how close he was, she wasn’t going to be able to get out of this.  She knew she should have been honest with him from the beginning, but she was being stupid.  “Elias…”

“It’s not the bracelet, is it?” he asked, reaching out slightly to grab her wrist where it lay.  “If you don’t like it—”

“No no, Elias, I love it,” she said, looking down briefly at his hand now holding hers.  “It’s just…you know how yesterday when you said you sometimes wish it was summer all the time so you’d get to spend it with me?”

“Yeah…”

She gulped.  “I feel like you might have an idealized version of me in your mind…like, like a summertime Svea, where I’m not stressed about school or finding a job or missing my family, but then when September comes around and you’re in hockey mode and I’m in school mode and everything changes it’s going to be much different…and I don’t know if I can, or will be able to be, summertime Svea for you.”.  

Elias had furrowed his brows the second she mentioned ‘idealized version of me’.  He listened to her ramble, and the silence he took afterwards made Svea the tiniest bit nervous.  “You don’t need to be summertime Svea for me,” he said finally, choosing his words precisely, but using her own words too.  “You don’t need to be anything for me besides you.”

“Yeah, but—”

“But nothing, Svea.”

“I don’t…I don’t want to let you down.”

Now Elias really furrowed his brows.  “How could you ever let me down?” he asked.  She shrugged her shoulders.  “Svea, you remember what I told you after Soren?” he asked.  Svea nodded her head.  “You’re the sun and the stars, Svea.  You give me life no matter what you do.  Don’t you get that?  I know that you have a lot of big decisions coming up this year and I know there’s going to be a lot of ups and downs for you this year, and for me, but there’s nobody I’d rather experience them with than you.  Whatever they are.”

She nodded her head.  They way that he said it – the way he said anything – made her want to cry.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“I just want to be what you deserve,” she said.  

“You are what I deserve,” he said, leaning down to kiss her quickly.  “Actually, no – not even.  I don’t deserve you.”

Svea couldn’t help but smirk, and as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss Elias again, she couldn’t stop.  She kissed and kissed and kissed, and she didn’t care who saw them.  She loved him, she loved him so much, and even though they were insecure sometimes, as most people were, they loved each other, they loved each other, and that’s all that mattered.

“You guys are gross,” Emil’s voice interrupted, his voice playfully disgusted at the sight before him.  “Every time I look at you guys, you’re kissing.  Do you guys even breathe?”

“Shut up Emil,” Svea huffed, unable to suppress her smile.

When they got back to their section of the floor, they only had to wait five minutes for the lights to dim and Coldplay to take the stage.  Svea began screaming her head off and she and Fanny danced and swayed along to the music, singing along at the top of their lungs song after song.  As she sang, Svea could feel herself letting things go – anything negative was escaping her body and being replaced with pure joy and elation.  Any worries she had about the upcoming year were gone; any worries she had about anything were gone, replaced only with a need to live in the moment, to appreciate everything she had, to recognize what she’d done in her life thus far that brought her to this exact moment, singing and swaying to Coldplay in Stockholm.

Svea felt Elias wrap his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head as he began to sway with her.  And as she felt him lean his head down to give her light kisses on her temple and cheek, it cemented the fact that there was no place she would rather be.  

>< >< >< >< ><

Like any good Swedes, Elias and Svea had been looking forward to Midsommar.

Elias had a huge extended family, who usually rented a massive marquee and perched it on the banks of Ångesjön and had a massive dinner and party on the Friday night.  His grandmother was making his favourite dish, sausage stroganoff, and of course, all the other foods and delicacies associated with the Midsommar celebration.  Between family, friends, and neighbours invited to the festivities, they were anticipating around seventy people.

Elias couldn’t keep his eyes off Svea ever since she arrived at his house with her parents and Sigrid wearing a white and floral embroidered dress that fell just above her knees; he couldn’t keep his eyes off her as they drove to the marquee on the lake, where members of his family were already setting up the maypole; and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her now, as she was sitting at a table with some of his younger female cousins, helping them make flower wreaths to wear as crowns.

“You and Svea are the talk of everyone here,” Sigrid said as she watched Elias watching Svea.  They were sitting at their own table, scrubbing the potatoes that would be used for later.  

“Are we?”

“They’re saying the same things we did.  ‘Oh, finally?’ and ‘It’s about time.’  You know, the usual,” she giggled.  Elias knew that just a few weeks ago at Emma and Jonas’s dinner they hadn’t said anything because they wanted to keep it a secret, but there was no use now.  He knew word would have gotten around eventually, and that there was no use stopping it.  Besides, this way would make it trickle down from old people to people his age, anyway.  “So many girls in Ånge will be heartbroken,” Sigrid joked.

Elias shrugged his shoulders.  He didn’t really care about that – he never did.  A lot of girls didn’t like how close he was to Svea and had gotten jealous over the years.  He didn’t even think twice about it.  “So long as the most important girl isn’t heartbroken, that’s all that matters,” he said.  

“I don’t think she ever could be with you,” Sigrid said, looking at Svea at the table with some extended Pettersson cousins.  “Besides, we all know you’re not capable of heartbreak.  You’re too much of a good boy.”

Elias laughed, knowing that Sigrid was right.  There was a constant sentiment in the Pettersson household that Irene and Törbjörn never had to ‘worry’ about Elias.  The only times he would be out late was when he was at the rink; he always did fairly well in school, behaved, was nice to the other kids and to the teachers; and he didn’t have any dangerous vices like drinking or drugs, save for maybe being obsessed with his phone.  It was more than he could say for a lot of his peers, but then again, many of them didn’t have the singular focus of hockey in their life, driving them to achieve a nearly impossible goal of playing in the NHL.  “I can be a bad boy, though,” he said.

“Oh yeah?  How?  Staying up past your bedtime?” Sigrid quipped.

“Ask your sister.”

Sigrid’s jaw dropped and she pretended to convulse.  “Oh my God I think I’m gonna throw up,” she mumbled, covering her mouth for dramatic effect as Elias laughed and laughed and laughed.  “You’re gross.  Stop violating my sister’s innocence.”

“I don’t know if I’d call her innocent.”

“That’s it, I’m leaving,” Sigrid said, setting her scrubber down and getting up to leave.  Elias laughed as he watched her go inside the marquee to one of the coolers and grab a drink, shaking his head as he smiled to himself and continued to scrub the potatoes.  

***

“Sveeeeaaaa,” Elinor, one of Elias’s little cousins, handed Svea her flower crown.  Many of the cousins had made theirs before coming, perhaps with their parents, but others hadn’t.  Svea took the opportunity to help them, setting up a little station at one of the picnic tables filled with flowers and leaves.  This was her favourite part of Midsommar anyway (save for maybe a drunken Små grodorna dance), so she really didn’t mind.  Three cousins had already finished, and she was left with sisters Elinor and Eliza.  “The leaves I’m trying to put on aren’t staying.  Can you help me?”

“Of course my darling,” she smiled, putting her own crown down delicately to help with Elinor’s.  

Eliza came over too to watch Svea put the leaves on.  As she looked between the leaves being fastened on the wreath and Svea’s concentrated face, a thought came to her mind.  She’d seen something earlier and needed to get to the bottom of it.  “Svea?”

“Yes Eliza?”

“Are you and Elias finally boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Svea smiled, if only at the use of the word finally.  It seemed like even the kids had been waiting for them to get together.  “Yes.  We’re finally boyfriend and girlfriend,” she said.  “Why do you ask?”

“We saw you holding hands,” Elinor piped up, as if she was bursting at the seams to say something but didn’t because Eliza, as the older sister, needed to mention it first.  “And then before you came and sat down with us, he kissed the top of your head like Emil kisses Fanny.  And we know that boyfriends and girlfriends hold hands and kiss.”

Svea smiled from ear to ear at their innocence.  At only nine and ten years old, they would see something like that and think that it was something boyfriends and girlfriends did.  It was only natural to come to that conclusion.  “Does it make you happy to see Elias and I as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Both of the girls nodded their head enthusiastically.  “You’ve always been around,” Elinor said.

“It’s like you were always part of our family anyway,” Eliza added.

“Are your mommy and daddy happy that you have a boyfriend?” Elinor asked.

“I think they’re happy that it’s Elias,” she sort-of joked, even though she knew the girls wouldn’t get it.  “But yes, they’re happy I have a boyfriend who they know loves me.”

“My daddy says we’re not allowed to date until we’re thirty,” Eliza said.  “Are you thirty?”

Svea snorted.  “No my darling, I’m not thirty.  I’m only twenty-one.”

Eliza shot her sister a look when Svea revealed her age.  “We need to talk to dad,” she said sternly, and Elinor nodded her head.

Svea couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.  It was hilarious, but she didn’t want to be responsible for the girls’ revolt against their father.  She stuck one last flower into the crown before turning towards Elinor.  “Well, here you go Elinor.  Can I put your crown on you?”  Elinor smiled as Svea put the flower crown on, adjusting it with her hair and making sure it wasn’t going to fall off.  “You look like a princess!” Svea exclaimed.  “A beautiful Swedish princess.”

“The most beautiful Swedish princess ever,” Elias’s voice suddenly appeared beside her.  Svea smiled quickly at him before he crouched down so he could be eye level with Elinor.  “What do you say to Svea?”

“Thank you, Svea,” the girls said in unison.  Svea grabbed Eliza’s crown and put it on her too before the girls skipped away happily towards their other cousins.  

Elias took the opportunity to slip in beside Svea on the picnic bench and get close to her.  He saw her crown laying on the table and picked it up delicately, making sure not to ruin any of the small flowers.  “May I?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Svea bowed her head and Elias put the crown on her, adjusting in with her hair much like she did with the girls.  When she raised her head again, Elias was met with her smiling eyes, a playful grin appearing on her face.  He blushed, letting a bashful smile overtake his face.  “You’re so beautiful, Svea.  So, so beautiful,” he whispered.

“It looks nice?” she asked.

He could only nod his head.  He leaned in to kiss her, unable to detach his lips after a few kisses because his pure desire for her.  Sitting there in her dress with her crown was too much to bear for him.  He was simultaneously the smartest man in the world for bagging her yet the stupidest man in the world for waiting so long.  He placed his hand on her thigh underneath the table as she pulled away.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And you look beautiful.  I mean, you always look beautiful, but you look especially beautiful today.”

Svea smiled.  “And you look so handsome with potato skin dirt in between your fingernails.”

Elias snorted.  As they giggled, he leaned in to kiss her again.  “I can’t believe I got so lucky,” he mumbled against her lips.

“Likewise,” Svea smiled.  

***

Midsommar had been a huge success.  There was lunch, and the traditional drinking of nubbe and singing nubbevisor.  Then there was the små grodorna dance around the maypole with everyone, followed by a generous slice of strawberry cake.  Almost everyone – kids and adults alike – participated in the games: tug of war, horseshoe tossing, and potato sack races – for most of the afternoon.  After drinking the afternoon away and stuffing themselves with barbecue at dinner, Svea and Elias found themselves inside the marquee with everyone else, dancing along to the traditional dansband music being played.

They were a bit drunk, and a lot happy.

After dancing a bit with Emil and one of Elias’s uncles, Svea found herself attached to Elias, smiling and giggling as he twirled her around and tried his best to keep to the beat of the music despite how much he drank.  She’d tried to absorb some of the alcohol in her system by eating extra cookies, but it didn’t seem to work.  That didn’t matter though – all that did matter was that she was having fun dancing with Elias.  She was having fun twirling with Elias.  She was having fun singing with Elias.

She wanted to have more fun with Elias.

When they had to take a break, simply to just get more water to stay hydrated, she came up with an idea.  She stuffed the last cookie she had into her mouth and stuffed the napkin into her bra before she grabbed his hand and tugged gently on it to get his attention.  “Can we take a walk?” she asked, trying to sound sweet despite the cookie.  “I need some air.”

“Yeah.  Yeah of course,” Elias said, screwing on the bottlecap for his water.  He took a step before stopping.  “You’re not gonna throw up, are you?”

“No no.  Just want some air, and some alone time with you,” she admitted as they stepped out of the marquee.  The sun wasn’t exactly setting across the lake (it being midsommar and all) but it did leave the sky streaked in all sorts of beautiful colours – pinks and oranges and reds, all beautiful and blending into one another.  

They walked along the lake, far enough that the dansband music became only a muffled noise in the background and the lights around the tent looked like stars in the sky.  They held hands the entire way, admiring the views over the lake, until they finally came to a stop.  As they sat down on the grass together, looking out at the lake as they leaned back on their elbows, Svea turned towards Elias.  “Are you having fun?” she asked.

He nodded his head.  “Of course I am,” he responded, smiling at her.  “Are you?”

Svea nodded her head.  “Always when I’m with you.”

“Have you sobered up a bit?  Did the cookies help?”

She let out a giggle as she nodded her head.  “Kiss me, Elias.”

Like many other times when their lips met, once they started, they couldn’t stop.  Small kisses at first, then big, wet, open-mouth kisses that Elias could get drunk on so easily.  He found his hands going straight towards Svea’s chest, feeling her up through the fabric of her dress before pushing the straps down slightly.  Before he could do anything else, he felt Svea pushing him down onto his back, her body half-hovering over him as she perched herself up on her elbow.  

Her free hand was initially on his chest, but the more they kissed, and the more heated things got, the further down it went.  When he felt it at the top of his pants, there was a sharp intake of breath and he stopped kissing her.  “S…Svea what are you doing?” he whispered.

“Shhh…” she cooed, placing butterfly kisses along his jawline.  Maybe it was the alcohol making her so bold, but she knew she was being so, and that it was a surprise to Elias.  He’d enjoyed his beer too, but he held his alcohol better.  Never mind the fact that, technically, seventy family and friends were a ten minute walk away.  She fiddled with the button on his pants until it was undone, and followed up with pulling his zipper down.  “Is that okay?”

He nodded his head fervently, letting out a jagged sigh.  She pushed his pants and underwear down slightly to free his cock.  Before she went any further, she brought her hand up and made sure Elias was looking at her as she licked her hand and spit on it.  He let out an indescribable sound – something between a groan, a yelp, and a cry.  “Svea—what’re you—where’re you—” he stuttered out.

“Shhh,” she cooed again.  She looked at him but he looked at her hand slipping down to his hardening member.  He was already a little hard due to all the kissing, but the second she touched his cock with her wet hand, he swore he got even harder.  “I want to make you feel good, Elias,” she whispered, wrapping her hand around his cock.  “Does it feel good?”

He nodded, unable to formulate words.  Okay, so his girlfriend was going to jack him off on the banks of the Ångesjön.  No no – not going to – she was jacking him off right this second and he was getting harder and harder the more her hand moved up and down his shaft.  God, of all the times he did this alone in his room in Ånge or Timrå or Växjö or Sundsvall or Vancouver or anywhere else in the God damn world thinking about her, her specifically, and now she was here, doing it for him, in a flower crown and dress with one strap pulled down, exposing her bralette…fuck.  FUCK.  He couldn’t believe this was happening to him.  He couldn’t believe she was doing this.  He couldn’t believe—

“Kiss me, Elias,” she practically commanded, dragging him away from his selfish thoughts.

He did, hot and wet and like a teenager who didn’t know how to kiss, with his tongue everywhere as he reached up to drag her bralette strap down with her dress strap to expose a breast.  He moved down to her jaw and clavicle, eventually kissing her breast.  She let out sighs and mewls as his hands squeezed and his tongue grazed over her nipple quickly, but his mind kept going back to what she was doing and how hot it was.  “D’you like this?” Svea asked.

“Fuck yes.”

“Are you close?”

“Spit on your hand again.”

She did as she was told, reaching back down to keep up her movements.  She felt Elias’s breaths get more laboured and when he bucked his hips ever so slightly, she knew what she had to do.  She moved down slightly.  The loss of her breasts near his face made Elias whine.  “What’re you—” he began to ask, but he couldn’t even finish his sentence, because by the time the words came out, he knew what she was doing, and he felt like he was going to pass out.  

He watched as she pushed the fabric of her dress with her free hand.  She lowered her upper body towards his cock, making sure to give him a perfect view.  “D’you like that?”

“Svea—”

“Do you?”

“Yes!” he whispered harshly.  “Fuck, fuck yes I like it.”

She pushed her breasts together, trying to get some cleavage as a visual for him, even though she didn’t have a lot to work with.  “Cum for me baby,” she purred.

“Sv—”

“Cum for me, Elias.  I wanna see your cum on me.”

Elias felt a tidal wave of pleasure pass through him as he saw himself emptied onto Svea’s chest, her hand continuing to pump and stroke him for all that he was worth so he could continue to feel the pleasure he was feeling.  He had to close his eyes momentarily, the sight before him of Svea’s chest with his cum on it almost too much for him to take in.  When he opened his eyes again, she was on her last, gentle strokes, a small smile playing on her face.  That made him want to do it all over again, even though he’d barely come down as is.  “Holy fucking shit,” he could barely catch his breath.

“You like what you see?” she asked,

He couldn’t believe what she’d asked him to do, and that he actually followed through.  “Fucking hell, Svea.  Of course I do.”

She let out a short giggle, biting her bottom lip.  “This is the dirtiest thing I’ve ever done,” she admitted.  While it may have been extremely tame for some people, it wasn’t for her.  Maybe she’d eventually grow to think it was tame, but it wasn’t right now.  It was hot and it was impulsive and it was everything she could have wanted in the moment, everything she could have needed in the moment alone with Elias.

Elias dragged her back up by the arm, giving her a giant kiss.  “You’re going to fucking kill me,” he mumbled, his breath steadier now.  “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Maybe I’ll do it more often,” she offered.

Elias wrapped his arms around her body.  “You do whatever you want and whatever’s comfortable, pretty girl.”

She grabbed the napkin that she’d stuffed into her bra earlier in the night that had fallen out during their activities – the one that held the cookies she’d sobered up on – to clean her chest.  Elias wasn’t dejected as he watched her clean up, but he knew he’d want to see it on her again.  When there wasn’t anything left on her, he leaned forward and placed kisses all over her chest, capturing her nipples in his mouth again and sucking gently before finally letting her pull up her bralette and the fabric of her dress.  He fixed his underwear and pants, and soon enough, to an unassuming eye, it looked like nothing had even happened between them.  “I’m going to fuck you on the car ride home,” he blurted out.

“With Sigrid there?” she quipped, reminding him that they had to drive her sister.

“Sigrid can go with your parents.  She’ll understand.  Just talk to her.”

“And if she refuses?”

“Then I’ll fuck you in my bed at home.”

“With your parents in the house?  And Emil and Fanny?” she asked again, giggling.  He wasn’t thinking straight.  He had only one thing on the mind.  “Fat chance.”

“We can be quiet,” he said, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

She gave him a look.  “I can’t.  And I know for a fact you can’t shut up.”

Elias made a pissy face, upset at all the roadblocks in what he thought was a straightforward, foolproof plan.  He pulled her body to lie against his side, and when she snuggled into him, she lay her head on his chest.  They were quiet for a few moments, recollecting what just happened while staring at all the colours in the sky over the lake.  Elias kissed the crown of her head.  He knew they would have to get back to the tent soon too, so people wouldn’t get suspicious.  “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

“And I meant what I said, you know,” he continued.  “Do whatever’s comfortable for you.  You don’t have to feel forced to—”

“I know, Elias,” she smiled, kissing him again.  “You don’t have to say it.  I know.”

***

Elias and Svea integrated back into the party inconspicuously.  They resumed their dansband dancing together, twirling and swinging again, holding each other close as laughter filled the space between them.  Törbjörn stole her away for a dance, and her father too for a few.  Elinor and Eliza were passed out on chairs despite the loud music.  Fanny and Emil danced beside them.  Sigrid danced with Elias’s younger cousins.

Everything was right in the world.  

[concentrated-mug-of-me]

okay im gonna try ur welcome. one ask. all from memory. if i fuck up i fuck up.

good morning heartsville this is tank comin at ya the voice of reason the voice of the season here at WLUV the student run radio station here at heartsville high the heart of america its 7 am on the dot and a perfect 68 degrees out there to start the school year off right. just a reminder folks heartsvilles annual community picnic is this weekend so guys grab ur guy and girls grab ur girl and head on down to lookout lake. and if u dont have anyone to grab sounds like youve got some extra love on ur hands and i know one magical matchmaker who just aint gonna let you get away with that. so go get em zanna this ones for you!!!!

when the alarm clock rings u know ive got to start to sing thinkin bout the joy the days gonna bring love is all around it just has to be found my job is making sure ig gegs spread around. i knew the day of my birth that i was put on this eartj to make sure no one suffers extra love so you can leave it to me its my responsibility to pass it on to someone without enough. i seek out the truth im a love sleuth im goin undercover for a lover who might not find another and im lookin for clues and they might point to you so come on gimme ur extra love. hey cindy! who do we got on the schedule today? steve buckman a quarterback i dont know him he must be new well im sure he is feelin a bit lonely ill see what i can do.

two by two just like noah had to do the only trick to love is finding who belongs with who so come on lets start the arks about to depart we gotaa pick up some extra love. (mornin mornin hi hi whatever have a good day) whos got wxtra love? i spy (call call me see ya later whatever) mornin officer klotsky! mornin zanna was your date w dr green a success ohh you bet hes the perfect guy for meee yeah i thought he might be my gratitude to you i cant express all in a days work! we walkes thru the park holding hands hntil dark such a guy i jever thought id meet yeah life is so sweet when extra love is complete so now im keepin the beat down on love street.

zanna karla hi roberta zanna hi (ahatever) whos got extra loce? not i because we got some hreat news uh huh you wont believe this uh uh tell em karla yeah! i forget what it is we’ll be govethee forever oh yeah our loves here to stay uh huh i cant believe we met only yesterday ! e just wantes to thank you fof makinv us fall in love zanna! u know karla i cant actyally make two people fall in love. i can merely favikitate! good morning everyone good morning principal cooper. now zanna i trust you wont be meddling in anyones affairs this year now will you? now principal cooper would i ever meddle in anyone elses affairs? yes you would. ur darn right i would!

two by two just like noah had to do the only trick to love is finding who belongs with who oh well i better go my friend is waiting and so ill see uou later later later later shes so great i know. (hi hi hihi bye bye bye whatever) whos got extra love? mike does! i dont but theres this new guy in town perhaps youve seen him around. mike has a crush on him i dont you do he does okay i do but let me make this clear zanna dont interfere oh please no please no please no pleas no PLEASE heres what im gonna do. (please no!) friday ill walk by and say hi next week we’ll start to speak and boah blah blah blah just be a man forget this stupid plan and quit the delay i dont wanna scare him awayyy no ur just a chicken ow chicken ow HEY NEW GUY wuit it oww. come on! good luck on ur chess match today mike!

excuse me olease but ut seems ive lost my way how bout a map ill explain another day hi im zanna im steve new quarterback of the team howd u know a little birdy told me oh i see what brings u to the midwest a mikitary request my two dads r five star generals in the army ooo im impressed. so we move place to place base to base unpack the suitcase try to make a few friends and then pack up and leave again wherever ive been ive never seemed to fit in. well never fear uts clear you fit in here! so keep up that chin. thanks for the encouragemnet ill see u in class!

oh excuse me. no no its my fault. hey hi zanna kate how are you wait i cant im running late. breakfast sure wnat som yeah what a pptatt would be great. thanks! let me uh uh find you pleae dont a girl no thanks im doing fine. it it wont will change will not ur world ive got no time ive got sats acts aps and gpas and college applications w all those tribulations to get to university then a medical degree so i just cant b distracted by loves triviality. no! yiu just havent met the right girl yet u can philosophize and rationalize but theyre just alibis loves all u need just take it from me okay u can set me up great! when im 33! ill get u yet.

hey zanna!! hey mr dj! wont you play this song for meee from the way that ur beamjn i see that ur schemin to turn somebodys dream to realityy you know me so well well its not hard to tell ur always happy making dreams come trhe its what i do! well in spite of ur list theres always one guy u miss i do who? you i know u got dreams too. no time my friend.

hi zanna. hi candi hi buck hey zanna. whats on the clipboard for today well the school board .. well as im sure you know the schoolboard is meeting with the ciry council to discuss whether or not the linrary should be allowed to carry a copy of hearher has one mommy and one daddy. in my opinion .. oh and if you can think of anyone we could sure use another guy for this years musical. come along buck. yes candi.

the schoop musical, huh? i think i have just the right guy! i seek out the truth im a love sleuth im going undercover for a lover who might not find another and im lookin for coues and they might point to you so come on gimme ur extra love. [i almost fucked up here] well u can cocer your tracks thats a fact jack but you aint gonna shake me to fake or make me take a break from chasin you can duck off the trail but im hot on your trail so come on gimme ur extra love now baby dont try to run from the love gun ive got the place surrounded and bounded the hounds r all around it you may be on the lam from the love caravan but u aint getting away w your love!

cause this is heartsville high where i dream of a love that will stay heartsville high where nothings ever gonna get in my way heartsville high where ive a feeling loves about to begin i hope that this time im gonna fit in. HEY you over there dont be shy come iver here i bet you got extra love what you hoarding it for? lifes got so much in store for someone w extra love. dont try to hide you cant keep it inside you migt as well give up ur extra love cause if u want love to stay you gotta give it away you gotta give up give up give up hive uo your ectra looooooove give up your extra love!

this took me over half an hour to type.

dee,,,,,,,other than the typos (and the whatevers) this is accurate as far as i can tell and how did that all fit in one ask i swear there was a character limit

[wisherbysharlight]

YOOOOOOO MY FREN........ THAT TROPEY BEACH AU IS GIVING ME L I F E RIGHY NOW!!!!! id love to hear some of the other LAMP scenes you mentioned...... as well as any angst you didn't include............ 👀

HELLO NEW FREN HERES 1.5k WORDS OF CREATIVITWINS BEACH AU ANGST WITH BONUS EPILOGUE TO SOFTEN THE BLOW

Tw for not exactly abusive parenting? Just kinda toxic. -Roman has known since he was 3 that his parents expected a lot from him Sit up straight and be polite and be nice to Mommy and Daddy's friends and we'll let you play on the beach later 

  -Remus always had the same expectations, but to a lesser degree. Roman was already the Golden Child after all, an 'heir and a spare' and all that nonsense But if Roman was good, then they got to go to the beach, and Remus liked the beach too, so he put up with being Slightly Worse so his brother would look even better 

   -Their roles solidified when Roman woke up to Remus sitting straight up in bed, white as a sheet, and turning to him with haunted eyes. Remus couldn't talk, that night. But his parents did take him to talk to a really nice lady named Ms. Picani((yes i AM making emile a legacy therapist)) who taught him that many people are subjected to nasty thoughts but that doesn't mean they were bad 

Their parents called him imaginative. Remus felt like it sounded like a curse next to when they called Roman creative

-So Remus and Roman both wore a mask. Roman pretended to give a shit about meetings and mergers and getting a law degree and taking over for his parents. Remus pretended it didn't hurt when they told him he could be "whatever he wanted" but laughed when he said CEO

Remus didn't think his parents even know the dichotomy they created. Roman was bitterly sure that they did. They clung closer to each other, spending every spare hour out on the water, their surfing prowess unquestionably on the same level and keeping them from turning on each other

-Remus quietly helped Roman stay awake in school when he stayed out all night sitting and waiting for the perfect waves to catch. Roman quietly fed Remus the information he learned when their dad had him sit in on "man to man" chats with other leaders.

-When they turn 14 they both tell their parents in no uncertain terms that they will absolutely be working at uncle Thomas' restaurant like Remy did when he turned 14, thank you very much. Their parents think it's a good lesson in responsibility. The twins think its a great reason to get out of the damn house.

-They drag their friends along with them. Virgil becomes a junior lifeguard with a passion Roman had yet to see in him, watching over everyone like a hawk. Logan gets to read under an umbrella. Patton is charming as hell as a bus boy and he and the twins quickly become waiters despite technically being too young(they just can't carry the alcohol for two years)

-There's still stuffy dinners that alternate with nights alone just the two of them in the house as their parents jet set around the world, but now they have somewhere to be every single day Thomas Actively encourages them to use the private beach for surfing when they have time off, and they love it because they can just grab their boards on their lunch breaks and go

-It is out on these lunch break surf and chats that a plan falls into place, as it normally does, when Remus just says the first thing that comes to his mind Roman knows what he wants now, and so does Remus, and who better to get it than the Creativitwins(coined by Patton, LOVED by the twins)

-By the time the Main Timeline happens(when they're all 18) the brothers have Solidified the plan 

They've both enrolled at the same elite school(much to their parent's condescending surprise, seeing as how Remus' grades are actually better than Roman's), both majoring in business, but they swap majors without telling their parents. Remus takes Entrepreneurship and Business Analytics, and minors in pre-law, and Roman takes Management.

-Roman knows, deep down, that once the jig is up he might lose all the money they put away for him. So, when he sees that there's an amateur competition on the island with enough prize money to get them both through at least a few semesters of school he leaps at it

-He trains Non Stop. He hasn't told LAM about the plan and they get super duper concerned about him 

-Thomas and Roman end up in a screaming match because Roman is clearly not sleeping and when Remus can't get through to him he sends Thomas and tells Roman he’ll handle their parents

This is when it comes out that Thomas is living Roman's dream that he feels he doesn't deserve, feels like he's failed as the Golden Child and hasn't earned the right to go after what he truly wants

At the Same Time Remus has shown up in Roman's place to a Very Important Dinner because he knows its just time to let the cat out of the bag. His father pulls him aside and tells him that he cannot afford any "outbursts" and that this is a "very serious meeting". Remus gives a sickly sweet grin and goes in anyway, smoothly makes rounds to say hello to all the customers who come to the resort and is joking and laughing with three of them within 15 minutes. His father is so taken aback he actually doesn't hear one of his other colleagues ask if he's alright.

Janus shows up to back him up about 30 minutes in and Remus brings him around to introduce, and the two of them charm the pants off of the few people they hadn't met yet, forcing the Twin's parents to confront their own biases against their son. Roman turns his phone off so he won't see his father calling. Him Remy and Thomas are having a disney marathon, anyway

-Roman doesnt go home til morning. When he gets there, both his parents are sitting at the table with Remus. They all have tears in their eyes and look like theyve been there all night. He'd gotten the text from Janus when he turned his phone on, knew that it had gone well, or he'd be genuinely concerned. The first thing his father says is, "We're sorry"

They have a discussion, and it feels a little bit like the business discussions he always sits in on, slightly stiff and with everyone still not really comfortable with each other, but at the end his mother hugs him for the first time in what feels like years and tells him she's proud that he worked so hard towards what he really wanted, and that he reminds her of herself at his age trying to break into the business world, and he cant truthfully say that isn't the best thing he's ever heard in his life

-Their parents arent perfect. Remus will say something slightly off kilter and they will visibly wince before they can correct themselves. Their mother will still attempt to baby Remus and put Roman on a pedestal. Their father will still turn to Roman for his opinion before Remus. They both pitch a fit when Roman insists on transferring to a local school to save money. But there's progress made.

-And on the day of the competition, Thomas comes up to Roman when he stops by the restaurant to get Luck with a key on a lanyard that says "Thomas Sanders Beach Emporium - Surf and Swim Shop". He'd purchased the small surf shop next to the resort from a local who'd wanted to move inland. 

"Ro, I know you still want to go to college and that's fine. But know you are the only one I want running this, even if I have to wait." 

Roman bursts into tears IMMEDIATELY and Patton has to hug him for like a full 20 minutes to calm him down

-And then, as we all know, THEY WIN THE COMPETITION. And they don't need the money for college anymore, so they take it and give it all directly to Thomas for the shop, and the twins own it together but Roman runs it while Remus is off being one half of the Ultimate Power Couple on the mainlaind

And Now That You’ve Survived the Angst Train, here’s EPILOGUE

-Roman takes over the surf shop as soon as he graduates, of course. 

-Patton becomes a Divemaster/Ocean Archeaologist and gets to spend all his time in the water 

-Logan becomes an Oceanographer who creates super detailed and beautiful diagrams 

-Virgil becomes a marine biologist specializing in rescue and release and they buy a house across the street from the restaurant

-Remy takes over the restaurant and Emile opens a practice right on the island and Remile live in the apartment above the restaurant

-Dukeceit move inland towards the city so Remus can get his MBA and Janus can have some Night Noise and Janus gets his law degree and they are a Power Couple 

But they always take at least a month where they are either off or working remotely and rent a house on the same block as Remile and LAMP and surf and hang out at the restaurant and beach and relive that One Summer Of Pure Happiness and Freedom

[dreamings-free]

How Harry Styles Became A Modern Style Icon

by Phoe­be Luck­hurst - Evening Standard 15/11/19

A man wrought in the fires of teenage boy­band hy­per-stardom is not afraid of a lit­tle commotion. Still when Harry Styles — the One Di­rec­tion mat­inée idol turned lan­guid Gen Z icon — tweeted, at 1.01 pm GMT on Wed­nes­day af­ter­noon, that he would be tak­ing his up­com­ing album Fine Line on tour, you could, if at­tuned to the cor­rect de­mo­graphic fre­quency, hear the howl echo around the in­ter­net: gut­tural, hun­gry, ul­u­lat­ing. This was a pseudo-re­li­gious experience: one vi­ral meme de­picted the Pope hold­ing a copy of his al­bum aloft. The announce­ment has been retweeted al­most 70,000 times.

The 25-year old is a tour vet­eran — he spent five years and five al­bums strapped to the thunder­ing 1D jug­ger­naut — but this new tour is his first as a bona fide solo brand. The al­bum, his first in two years, is synth-soaked and soul­ful, the al­bum’s aes­thetic fever­-dreamy. Granted, he’s not the first per­son to go to So­Cal, try a few magic mush­rooms and de­clare him­self radically trans­formed, but the re­sults are be­guil­ing — and cer­tainly a world away from his years as a Simon Cow­ell Ken doll. Since his last record, he has co- hosted t he Met Gala and been reborn as an Alessan­dro Michele muse. This is your Styles crib sheet.

Melody maker

Styles’s new al­bum — writ­ten un­der a tie-dye mist af­ter tak­ing the afore­men­tioned psychedelics, which also re­sulted in a mishap in which he bit off the tip of his tongue — is “all about hav­ing sex and feel­ing sad”, which, granted, as a topline, does not wildly dif­fer­en­ti­ate the record from the genre of “al l other mu­sic ever”. Still, the early signs for Fine Line are encouraging. Its first sin­gle, Lights Up—which has been streamed al­most 100 mil­lion times on Spo­tify —is­ synth-y, soul­ful, un­der­stat­edly an­themic, very dif­fer­ent to, and bet­ter than, the lead sin­gle on his last solo record, the Seven­ties, soft-rock Sign of the Times( it still, of course, hit No 1), and very, very dif­fer­ent from any­thing he did with 1D. Many thou­sands of words have been writ­ten about whether there is a bi­sex­ual sub­text to Lights Up. It has been noted that the song was re­leased on Na­tional Com­ing Out Day, that Styles’s sex­u­al­ity has been sub­ject to fren­zied specu­la­tion be­fore, the video fea­tures an oiled-up, top­less Styles gy­rat­ing around men and women, and that the lyrics (“Shine, I’m not ever go­ing back/ Shine, step into the light”) could be in­ter­preted as a mean­ing­ful rev­e­la­tion of sorts. Cer­tainly, he has be­come a queer icon — especially with Gen Z — who are thrilled by his se­lec­tion of gen­derqueer singer-song­writer King Princess as his sup­port act for the Euro­pean part of his tour. Speak­ing of col­lab­o­ra­tors, Styles worked on the al­bum with pro­duc­ers Tyler John­son, who has worked with Tay­lor Swift, Mi­ley Cyrus and Ed Sheeran, and Jeff Bhasker, who has collabo­rated wit h Mark Ron­son and Kanye West, and his friend, Tom Hull, aka Kid Har­poon, who co-wrote Shake It Out for Florence + The Ma­chine. He has also been granted a fairy god­mother: Ste­vie Nicks, who called him her “lit­tle muse” at Fleetwood Mac’s hyped Wembley head­line gig i n J une. “S he’s a l ways there for you,” Styles has said in the past. “She knows what you need: ad­vice, a lit­tle wis­dom, a blouse, a shawl.” Sure.

Got Styles

Any young man raised in the white heat of a boy­band spot­light must be granted the space to find his fash­ion path; Styles has done so with no mis­steps and ex­u­ber­ant plea­sure. Once upon a time, he would sem­a­phore his in­di­vid­u­al­ity with a ban­dana; now, he turns up to a cover interview with Rolling Stone in a white floppy hat, blue denim bell-bot­toms and Gucci shades, his nails coloured pink and green. His favourite trousers, un­til he lost them on the beach, were a pair of mus­tard cor­duroy flares; this week, he wore a Lan­vin sweater vest with a sheep de­sign that sent a co­terie of Lon­don menswear stylists into throes of ec­stasy. He wears flo­ral suits and Cuban heels, ruf­fled, New Ro­man­tic shirts, Charles Jef­frey jump­suits and pussy- bow blouses. It is flam­boy­ant, self-con­sciously Bowie/Jag­ger, and in Gen Z par­lance, “very ex­tra”. His stylist Harry Lam­bert is par­tial to an ex­trav­a­gant col­lar, dra­matic neck­line and a vo­lu­mi­nous trouser.

Be­sides Lam­bert, an­other part of this evo­lu­tion has been his re­la­tion­ship with Gucci’s cre­ative di­rec­tor Michele, who has turned the Ital­ian her­itage brand into the ul­ti­mate post-gen­der lux­ury fash­ion la­bel, the first to merge their menswear and wom­enswear, and dis­patch male mod­els down the cat­walk in dresses and women in suits. A good look for a Gen Z idol.

With the brand

Notably, the brand­ing on this al­bum and its tour art­work is con­sis­tent with this new look Styles. The al­bum cover fea­tures Styles i n white cus­tom- made Gucci bell bot­toms and a Pep­to Bismol-pink shirt, open al­most to the waist, shot by mod-goth Tim Walker with a fish­eye lens (it is Walker’s hand in that S&M glove you can see in the left-hand cor­ner). In the dreamy video for Lights Up he wears a glit­tery suit and sus­penders, in a sort of hal­lu­ci­na­tory ver­sion of Satur­day Night Fever. Into it.

Stand up

Then there’s his voice — not the mu­sic, but the ac­tivism. Even as one-fifth of a boy­band manufac­tured by Cow­ell’s al­go­rithm, he was quick, quippy and itch­ing to go off-mes­sage; but now that he con­trols his own, he is am­pli­fy­ing causes such as Black Lives Mat­ter and End Gun Violence. He wore stick­ers for both on his gui­tar on his last tour, which might sound small, except that photographs of Styles gal­lop around the dig­i­tal world at hy­per­speed. At con­certs, he has waved pride, bi and trans flags, and a Black Lives Mat­ter flag. He once bor­rowed a flag from an au­di­ence mem­ber at a show in Philadel­phia that read, “Make Amer­ica Gay Again”. At a show on his last tour, he de­clared: “If you are black, if you are white, if you are gay, if you are straight, if you are trans­gen­der — who­ever you are, who­ever you want to be, I sup­port you.”

A vo­cal, en­gaged fan­dom of teenage girls minted his mul­ti­mil­lion-pound for­tune; he is loyal and ad­mir­ing of their zeal. “They’re the most hon­est — es­pe­cially if you’re talk­ing about teenage girls, but older as well,” he told Rolling Stone this sum­mer. “They have that bull­shit de­tec­tor. We’re so past that dumb out­dated nar­ra­tive of ‘Oh, these peo­ple are girls, so they don’t know what they’re talk­ing about.’ They’re the ones who know what they’re talk­ing about. They’re the peo­ple who lis­ten ob­ses­sively. They f***ing own this shit. They’re run­ning it.” Ob­vi­ously, he’s a fem­i­nist. “Of course men and women should be equal. I don’t want credit for be­ing a fem­i­nist. I think the ideals of fem­i­nism are pretty straight­for­ward.” An icon is born.

[johnkirtley2021]

LAMELLAE

Architectural Association 2011

D - L A M _ T O W E R

Fluid, dynamic and extremely flexible, D-Lam// is a prototypical proposal for high-rise architecture. It explores a family of self-organised systems in which inner intelligence, lightweight and adaptability are pursued by the mean of a lamellar organisation, based on the laws of growth under stress and emergent behaviours,

As a literal response to the idea of juxtaposing concepts of creating a proposal that will begin to address the issue of communal separation and reintegration, I took the idea of trying to repair the community and started looking at a programme that can glue the community back together. As the initial research tried to address the fact that the community is being torn apart. 

I started off with the concept of opposing forces, and took the physical environment and the ephemeral community as being represented as a piece of gum stuck on the sole of a shoe, this series of layouts form this project by The AA show how this sporadic series of sinuous threads become the tether between these two bodies that are being torn apart.

Some interesting experimental forms emerge that can begin to form iterative concepts for spatial segregation. this would mean that the façade is retained and the interior is completely removed and rebuilt.

As the context of the site is a fairly regimented warehouse structure, the process I could follow this narrative would look at a conflict of spatial ideas and forms.

As how a rigid artificial form is met with a fluid organic one that could be reminiscent of how the programme is intended to address the issue of communal displacement and provide a facility to preserve the local knowledge economy and skilled artists that live in HWFI. Yet this would take on a literal meaning to the form as like how the strands of glue are holding the building together, the programmes that occur within the site are in turn keeping the community together.

[thatbanjobusiness]

Take a poke, buttface

Even though I literally have the book with this story on my computer (it’s from Jake Lambert’s biography of Lester Flatt), I’m typing this up from 100% memory, so don’t sue me if I get a detail or five wrong. And yes, this one’s long, NYEH. Deal with it. ;)

-----

The year was 1962. Flatt & Scruggs were about to hire a *｡★｡･:*✧ new band member ★.*✧･｡★. His name was Billy Powers. He was going to be hired to be both the band bus driver and a guitarist. And Billy was E X C I T E D. Boooom baby, he was going to be working FOR FLATT & SCRUGGS!!!!!

Well, the band was on their way to pick up Billy at an event to get his new illustrious career started. And unbeknownst to Billy, as the band was driving their bus to the event, they were discussing the very important matter of Conspiracy: How to give Billy the best most wholesome welcome they could... by means of a prank.

A songwriter friend, Jake Lambert, was on the bus, too. They realized Jake and Billy had never met before. Herein lay the key for their winning prank idea. Earl Scruggs suggested that Jake would pretend to be a reporter interviewing Billy for a newspaper article. Just in case Jake’s name had been passed around in music circles, they gave Jake a cover name... very inconspicuously moving the emphasis of his last name from the first to the second syllable. He was Jake Lam*BERT* now. Completely new person. Completely new identity. Nothing fishy about this at all.

Well. Billy was apparently excited and gullible enough to believe this random dude on the bus was a reporter coming to interview Specifically Billy. Billy was delighted at this interview opportunity. Not only would he be joining with an amazing band, but it would be talked about in the paper!!!

The prank was not immediate smooth sailing, though, because the band ended up having dinner with Fancy Prestigious People including the... governor... (I believe)... who then proceeded to ask Jake what he did with a living since he wasn’t a member of the band. Jake, seated right next to Billy, found himself in very hot water trying to bullshit the details of what his ‘job’ was in front of governmental leadership... before someone else in the band swept in for the rescue with a topic change.

With that close-call averted, Jake was able to take Billy into the bus for the interview. The bus had one section blocked off with a curtain, which is where Jake and Billy stepped behind. The rest of the band, wanting in on the action, sat on the other side of the curtain and leaned in and listened. At least as long as they could before they lost it laughing. Several band members had to leave the bus because they couldn’t hold it in. Flatt and Scruggs themselves resorted to stuffing towels in their mouth to dampen their laughter. Billy, unsuspecting, made it all the way through the interview, and when it was done, Earl Scruggs tried to make a fake show of being grumpy that it had “taken so long.”

Well. Obviously. A few days later. Billy Powers realized he’d been had. He laughed at how he’d been had, and then proceeded to spend the next few years of his life with the band.

Time passed. A real reporter came for Flatt & Scruggs, wanting to do an interview with each band member individually. Billy was inside, so a bandmate came to Billy to tell him the news that a person of a Certain Type Of Profession was out to interview him.

Billy, believing he dare not fall for this twice, delivered to his friends the well-worded message, “FuCK. yOU!!!!”

Everyone in the band except him ended up being interviewed for the article.

[whootwoot-blog1]

Leo Valdez x reader: Statue Boy

(Y/N) *This is based off of a writing prompt I found on pinterest!*

If you ever decide to go on a trip to Lams, Ohio, you won’t find much. You’ll find a movie theater filled with people watching the latest movies, schools bustling with kids trying to solidify their future, office buildings filled with people trying to earn money, gas stations and restaurants for the people who are just travelling through, and well, you get the point. The only peculiar thing about this town, is a statue, right in the middle of town. Now, you may be thinking: what the gosh diggity darn heckity heck is so important about a statue? Now this statue is cursed, and to learn its story, we have to go back to about 2 years ago. Yeah, not that long ago, but still a story worth telling. 

Once upon a time there were a group of 7 demigods who went on a quest (to put in simple terms). One of those seven, a boy names Leo Valdez got exiled to an island called Ogygia where he met a beautiful goddess named Calypso. He fell in love with Calpyso and thought that he couldn’t love anything more than her. Little did he know how wrong he was. At the moment that he got a chance to leave, he promised to himself that he would later come back to save the one he loves. He leaves. Time passes. He saves her. More time passes, about two years passes. Leo is now 17 years old, and Calypso is still a million year old goddess. One day, at Camp Half Blood, Leo is hammering away in his work space. He is oblivious to the rest of the world; right now, it’s only him, his tools, and his mind. This is where Leo feels at his best. As he��s working away, Calypso enters. She gently places her hand on his shoulder, but he doesn’t give away from the building and working. She gently coos in his ears “Leooo....it’s time for dinner.” He doesn’t give. She keeps trying different things, but nothing works. Finally, she loses her temper. 

“LEO!” she y e l l s at the top of her lungs. Leo snaps out of his trance, “wha- huh-eh? Oh hi babe! What’s up?” he says sweetly.

“Leo, I need you to be honest with me...” Calypso says, trailing off at then end (like she’s debating on wether ot not to say it) “Do you love me?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“Because you never spend time with me anymore Leo! You’re always in here, away from the sun, building. I honestly think that you’re turning into a vampire! Be honest with me! Do you love me more than you love building?” Leo couldn’t answer. In his mind, he was criticizing himself. How could he not love Calypso more than building, she was his girlfriend. But, then again, if his girlfriend can’t support his building antics, then is she really the right one for him? I mean, shouldn’t a significant other support one another through everything? Before he could answer Calypso, she understood. “Fine. I hope you’re happy now that you’re choosing this,” Leo felt a sense of relief, like a weight was off of his shoulders. “but just know Leo Valdez, I am not happy with you. I can’t believe you. You came all the way to an island in the middle of no where for me, does that mean nothing?!?!? You know what, I’ve found a calmer way to deal with this..” she cleared her throat. “Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus, I curse you to life as a statue. You will remain as a statue until someone who loves you and that you can love more than building, more than your friends, and more than me comes and holds your hand.” After she said that, the sky started rumbling and Leo started feeling stiff? Rigid? And before he knew it, he had turned into a statue. -This is where we fast forward in time.-

So, interesting story huh. Now let me tell you about (Y/N).  (Y/N) was a normal citizen, she did all the things you would expect a normal person to do. She lives in the city of Lams, Ohio, the city of the notorious statue of the *cute* boy. Believe it or not, she is annoyed by the number of people who go to the statue every day to take a picture with it while holding its hand. It’s story had spread far and wide, and with the story came people. Now one day, (Y/N) was just running errands, buying chocolate, graham crackers, marshmallows, apples, oranges, you get the idea. She stops in front of the statue, looking at it. As she’s formulating a plan for the rest of the day in her mind, she realizes that she’s never actually taken a picture with the statue. 

Sigh. Now this is going to annoy her until she ends up taking a picture with the statue. She walks up to the statue and asks a random passerby to take a picture of her and the statue. They willingly comply. She gives them her phone and walks up to the statue, trying to figure out what to do. As she’s trying to do this, she accidentally touches the statues hand and finds herself.. falling? She falls on top of this incredibly handsome man. He’s got a curly mop of brown hair, tanned brown skin, an incredible jawline, chocolaty brown eyes(but not like dark chocolate, like hot chocolate), fine muscles and abs that are visible through his shirt, even though he has a thin, scrawly figure. He’s taller than you, however, about 5′7′’. And on top of it all, he’s smirking. 

“Well beautiful lady, I think you just fell for me.”

Alright! Imma leave it here up to your imaginations! Please give me feedback, and ideas for a next one. This is my first imagine, and I want to make more!

[independentartistbuzz]

Braden Lam Debuts Epic Release "don't let go"

Blending authentic songwriting with modern indie flare, Braden Lam is forging the path to a new 21st century folk-pop. The young ECMA-nominated artist from Halifax, NS sounds like The Lumineers and Phoebe Bridgers met at a campfire in Canada. 

The nostalgic yet fierce single, “don’t let go” is about holding onto a memory of someone you love, even when they are gone. Co-written with Halifax musician Keeper E., the song feels like late summer nights with friends and wishing you could just slow down and soak in those moments forever.

Listen here:

https://youtu.be/r_0fzc8CgaA

In the music video, Braden uses an old 1979 red Volvo car to represent the “holding onto” of the piece or memory of someone you love. For him, it was that car but for listeners, it could also be a song, a place, maybe a sweater that reminds you of that person and how they defined you, made you feel. We all do this – freeze a memory of them in our minds where they live unchanged and unmarred by time. Stay tuned for the second chapter to this video coming in October!

[khuepham]

Old messages

Dung~ Ai : Theo chu thi TS tour se ntn?t muon chu la nguoi lon nhat ko the vang mat nhe! Thoai mai roi, choi tet di dog chi, t no may may bua com,cho t tra chu 12Au2009-21:53:55 Tra : Cac chi i bao e trog ngo nghinh lam.e ko lam luc 4h i, luc day chi o day thay chi Linh 9Sept2009-18:32:14 Tra : sao lop em co minh e la con trai the.xin chuyen sang lop 3 di 19Sept2009-12:03:05 Tra : Hoc the nao? di xin chuyen lop chua? 21Sept2009-17:51:39 Tra : Lai ko chuyen.thoi, roi se quen vs cac ban.lop e co may ban hoc tieng Nhat rui? 21Sept2009-17:57:09 Duc : C hoc thuoc 46 chu Hiragana chua? Chieu nay t di tap Yosakoi zui dey. Hay fet'. 23Sept2009-00:21:04 Duc : Acc. Ca 1van de day. Hehe. C hoc xong 2 bag chu kaj chua?:D 27Sept2009-10:55:43 Tra : Cam on em.qua to the 28Sept2009-11:27:19 Ha ruoi : T ha ruoj day.hjhj.Day la so moj cua t. 17Oct2009-23:42:39 P.Anh 1NB09 : Thx ban trai duy nhat cua 1nb XD nam moi vui ve XD 13Feb2010-21:51:20 Ngân Lợn: Tks only 1nb's gentleman.co len nha.rat vuj vj lop mjh co c 13Feb2010-22:48:21 --------------------------------------------------------- MaiHa : Hj. T k mag. Mag dj nag lam. C co mag di ah? Hn t met fo fac ra. Den gjo an chua nhj? 7June2010-17:28:11 MaiHa : K. can lapt0p lm j ah? Kaj vjdeo tren youtube la c lm? 7June2010-21:56:04 MaiNguyen : T o cung fong voi 1 ban on thi DH, the nen mn toan phai sang fong ben canh choi cho no hoc. ay. 8June2010-05:45:35 MaiNguyen : Thich o day hon o nha^^ 8June2010-20:41:53 MaiHa : He. Quen dt o fog. Hjt. Uc che mu0n djen len 8June2010-22:14:59 Thuy?1NB09 : Ok desune!:D! Dua Khue ti.u.t cat cho 8June2010-22:17:05 Thuy?1NB09 : Xuong dat ma nam.lay sach ra ma wat.chju kho dj roj maj t dua wat cho 8June2010-22:21:51 Thuy?1NB09 : T wen het tjeng anh roj.o hjeu.thoj.maj noj tjep.den gjo di ngu roj.g9 8June2010-22:29:35 Thuy?1NB09 : O faj.den gjo dj ngu.faj tat djen o bj fat.fong khue o tat djen ah?bj fat day 8June2010-22:36:38 P.Mai k.Duc : Hj2,thank you very much!i am so afraid!what are you doing? 8June2010-22:41:07 MaiNguyen : Dc thuong thuc 1 cuoc song khac thuong thj phai bjet huong thu chu. Dung co noi to dien, ngay mai biet dau cau lai thik qua ko muon ve nua ay. 8June2010-22:57:50 MaiNguyen : Only when you are in horrible life that you think of your own worst enemy !.......Always be my pleasure.how can you find me? Dont lie lie 8June2010-22:58:18 MaiNguyen : ^^.Chac han la mot cau chuyen hap dan. Hahaha. Thinh ma lai. 8June2010-23:02:11 Tra : An chan lam a? 9June2010-21:40:54 LeVa : c oj len phong t an hoa qua nha.nhanh len,hjhj. 10June2010-18:03:59 Rosie : Not when i sleep with 11 other people. r u mad at me or somethjng? 14June2010-08:12:41 LeVa : ohayo!hjhj!arjgato!toj wa laj faj dj gac ha c? 15June2010-05:38:19 LeVa : eo kho nhj?nh chj faj gac co 2 tjeng thoj dung k? 15June2010-06:30:38 MaiNguyen : :).*toe toet* 15JUne2010-06:48:56 Rosie : Dag ngoj dau? 15June2010-07:57:18 LeVa : gac luc y thj ok! can t tjep te nuoc va hoa qua k?hjhj! 15June2010-13:38:30 MaiNguyen : To dang bi stress nang. >< cuu to voi!!! 15June2010-13:40:20 LeVa : uhm! nh neu d/c k can thj thoj!hehe 16June2010-13:41:03 Rosie : To chup dc ank cau day, nhug ank ko thay ro mat 15June2010-15:26:38 Rosie : Nguy =)) 15June2010-15:32:47 Rosie : Ok. co fee ko :)) 15June2010-15:33:34 Rosie : Chup a free ah =)) dua thọ. chup thj may cạ cha dc. khj nao thik thj nhan tjn cho to :) 15June2010-15:36:47 Tra : Thik lam.chi thik nhat mon day 15June2010-16:12:10 Tra : Hom nay lai hoc ban tiep a? 16June2010-09:40:31 Rosie : An xog ruj chu! dao nay tu dug laj co caj tat nhjn xem co thay ban khue ko:D.ca fog dj xem wc, dag ngoj 1 mjnk nen mun nhan tjn cho ban thuj ko can rep dau :D 17June2010-18:33:30 Rosie : Gambatte ne 18June2010-08:28:30 Rosie : Co len nha, co j thog bao kq cho to 18June2010-09:11:43 Rosie : i think tonight is ok if u want to alleviate my ailment. i'll wait for u in c2 after dinner ok? just remember to go alone to avoid misunderstanding 21June2010-14:40:51 Dong : Khue oi.t Dong day.Sr c vi h moi nhan lai dc.sim kia cua t het tien:-( mai t fai di thi rui.de ngay kia dc k c?:-) 25June2010-13:37:48 Rosie : Not at all. i kinda enjoyed it. y do u think i felt bad? 29June2010-08:22:30 Rosie : Yeah i do. i always hide my true feeling 29June2010-08:26:49 Rosie : Not that clear. i still think u're a little weird and mysterious 29June2010-08:33:50 LeVa : uh.chieu nay thjx thj tap trung de dj chup a!chjeu c thj o day day ? 29June2010-08:51:28 Rosie : :)) ban nhung hum nay tron an com trua :D 29June2010-10:56:41 Rosie : Bao gio k ve que? 29June2010-11:29:17 Rosie : Djnk ru k di xem fjm thui :D 29June2010-11:31:44 Rosie : Ua gan nha to ma :D laj re. dj ko? to len ljck 29June2010-11:34:33 Rosie : To se ru them 1 so ban than nua chu to vs k dj vs nhau to so k ngaj, laj speechless thj chan lam :D 29June2010-11:46:45 Rosie : treat like what? i don't think of it as a big deal. but it's ok if u don't want to go with my friends. i'll arrange them some other day : ). they're just a few people who are really close to me 29June2010-11:55:10 Rosie : Ok then i'll catch u later. i'm taking a nap 29June2010-11:59:05 Rosie : I hate rat, mouse or any word to call that horrendous animal. 29June2010-12:15:17 Rosie : That's the cartoon i hate the most. y that little rat always win? that's unfair. this creature should be eliminated 29June2010-12:20:14 Rosie : I'm taking my camera with me. if u still want a photo, this is ur last chance 29June2010-13:45:07 Rosie : i'm asking u. ur answer should be yes or no 29June2010-13:47:35 Rosie : but how and when? 29June2010-13:54:26 Rosie : not good. i'll have changed my clothes already. after taking the test i'll run to get the bathroom. because it's always crowded there so i may have to wait for the bathroom. that's my only free time with this uniform on 29June2010-13:58:55 Rosie : And no shower? i don't think so.>.< 29June2010-14:04:02 Rosie : No i gonna wash my hair today and the bathroom in my room is unuseable 29June2010-14:11:21 LeVa : c thj o dau day?lat ra nha da nang nha ! 29June2010-14:14:27 Rosie : I don't know >.< must be before i take shower or before we gather tonight. i'm not going to dinner today 29June2010-14:21:53 Rosie : I'm havin' shower >.<. i can wear uniform after dinner so finish it fast then call me out. good luck with the test. i think i failed 29June2010-15:17:16 Rosie : It's way to difficult >.< anyway can u consider about going to the movie with my friends ;;) one has just back from the us. i think it's ok to make new friend. they are very nice:D. it's not that i don't want to go with u alone. i do but i kinda overspend this month. don't feel bad of me 29June2010-15:31:58 Rosie : To mak wan fuk nen bj lo la hen k vua bj de ra trag djem day >"< tam mua can than cam day 29June201o-17:39:46 MaiNguyen : Canh thu vi the ma ko goi minh som :D. Ngay cuoi cung can than om ko let dc ve nha day ban a! 29June2010-17:42:14 Rosie : chak la van thay thuj. to bj bat trag djem chu co faj thjk dau >"< 29June2010-17:49:33 Rosie : Chet khok thj co ay cu bj de ra trag djem thj bjt >"< 29June2010-17:51:42 Rosie : To dag o nha an day:D 29June2010-18:02:27 Rosie : Thanks for spending time with me tonight. i had great time. i really enjoyed talking to u 29June2010-20:05:02 Rosie : Let just say u're a good listener. u wasn't against anything i say :) didn't u say words are not important as staying by my side =) 29June2010-20:14:59 Rosie : Not at all i don't think of anyone as boring. i think u're nice. i tried to find out topics to keep out conversation continue. do u think i'm talkative? sometimes i just need someone to listen to me and i know u're perfect guy for that 29June2010-20:27:46 Rosie : I don't think it's a big deal. but if u want to go alone with me can u give me a ride? :D hey i passed the test this afternoon. i'm free tomorrow so awesome 29June2010-21:31:19 Rosie : Let me check the cinema's schedule then give u a call. do u mind driving me? 2june2010-21:36:43 Rosie : Cool :d how was ur test? i have a 5 >"< close to death 29June2010-21:54:51 LeVa : gac x0ng ruj c0n ngoj do lam j the?ve ngu dj c! 30June2010-05:38:40 Rosie : I didn't ecpect them to win anyway, i hope they did their best and that's all i can ask for 30June2010-05:40:07 LeVa : hjxhjx.lam j?tuj no c0n c day!len ph0ng ma xem dang ngu la ljet day nay!hjxhjx 30June2010-05:42:24 Rosie : it turn out i was right. the last meal is the worst one =) 30June2010-18:06:42 Rosie : Take care. maj ve con dj choj vs to :)) 30June2010-21:22:29 ---------------------------------------------------------------- Rosie : Hope u're doing fine with all the work. don't stay up too late. i'm going to bed now. sleep well sweetheart 6July2010-23:46:41

[libraryleopard]

2017 reading wrap-up

I don’t normally do this, but I figured that since this year was the first year I kept track of the books I read and also set a specific goal (1/3 books by authors of color), I thought it could be interesting to see what I read in 2017. And yeah, this is a little late but I didn’t have laptop over Christmas break so *shrug*.

I read 186 books total, with 73 being by authors of color. (That’s actually 11 more books than I needed to read, so yay for being an overachiever.) I think having a specific number to aim for helped me to diversify my reading and push me to read things I wouldn’t normally have read and I want to continue doing that. Of those 186 books, 108 had a person of color as a pov character and 61 had a LGBTQIAP+ main character. I think I’ll try to focus on reading more books with good disability representation next year because I only read 23 books with a disabled main character (not counting thrillers that used mental health as an an unreliable narrator plot twist because ugh). 

I read mostly the same number of books (between 9-20) each month during school or summer, which surprised me since I normally think of myself as reading more during vacations. Also, I read 9 books when I should have been doing NaNoWriMo, which might explain why I didn’t finish..

Anyway, here’s the whole list below the cut if anyone wants to see!

*=reread

January

1/ Vicarious by Paula Stokes

2/ Run by Kody Keplinger

3/ Pantomime by Laura Lam

4/ Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard

5/ Don’t Fail Me Now by Una LaMarche

6/ The Force Awakens novelization by Alan Dean Foster

7/ The Forbidden Wish by Jessica Khoury*

8/ Timekeeper by Tara Sim

9/ Tattoo Atlas by Tim Floreen

10/ Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova*

11/ Life in Motion by Misty Copeland

12/ Wonders of the Invisible World by Christopher Barzak

13/ Peas and Carrots by Tanita S. Davis

14/ This Is Our Story by Ashley Elston

15/ The Impostor Queen by Sarah Fine*

16/ The Cursed Queen by Sarah Fine

February

17/ See No Color by Shannon Gibney

18/ This Side of Home by Renée Watson

19/ I’m Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl by Gretchen McNeil

20/ Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

21/ Rogue One novelization by Alexander Freed

22/ Railhead by Philip Reeve

23/ When the Moon was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore*

24/ Truthwitch by Susan Dennard*

25/ Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley

26/ The Girl From Everywhere by Heidi Heilig*

27/ Here We Are: Feminism For the Real World edited by Kelly Jensen

28/ We Are Okay by Nina LaCour

29/ City of Saints and Thieves by Natalie C. Anderson

30/ Empress of a Thousand Skies by Rhoda Belleza

31/ A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab*

32/ The Young Elites by Marie Lu*

March

33/ A Gathering of Shadows by V.E. Schwab*

34/ A Study In Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

35/ History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

36/ The Rose Society by Marie Lu*

37/ The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

38/ Windwitch by Susan Dennard

39/ American Street by Ibi Zoboi

40/ The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

41/ The Midnight star by Marie Lu

42/ Heist Society by Ally Carter

43/ Pasadena by Sherri L. Smith

44/ A Good Idea by Cristina Moracho

45/ Camp So-and-So by Mary McCoy

46/ Piecing Me Together by Renée Watson

47/ Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

48/ Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz*

49/ The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

50/ Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman

51/  The Last of August Brittany Cavallaro

April

52/ Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones

53/ Every Breath by Ellie Marney*

54/ Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick

55/ Dramarama by E. Lockhart

56/ Every Word by Ellie Marney*

57/ The Secret of a Heart Note by Stacey Lee

58/ Lucky Few by Kathryn Ormsbee

59/ The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco

60/ Caraval by Stephanie Garber

61/ Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

62/ Yaqui Delgado Wants To Kick Your Ass by Meg Medina

63/ Every Move by Ellie Marney

64/ Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

65/ These Vicious Masks by Tarun Shanker and Kelly Zekas*

66/ A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab

67/ Fear the Drowning Deep by Sarah Glenn Marsh

68/ The Valiant by Lesley Livingston

69/ 37 Things I Love (In No Particular Order) by Kekla Magoon

70/ The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

71/ The Ship Beyond Time by Heidi Heilig

72/ Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett

73/ Kissing the Witch by Emma Donoghue

74/ Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson

May

75/ The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud

76/ Hunted by Meagan Spooner

77/ The Mystery of Hollow Places by Rebecca Podos*

78/ A Crown of Wishes by Roshani Chokshi

79/ Girl Out of Water by Laura Silverman

80/ How To Make a Wish by Ashley Herring Blake

81/ To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han

82/ P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

83/ P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

84/ Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley

85/ You’re Welcome, Universe by Whitney Gardner

86/ The Pearl Thief by Elizabeth Wein

87/ The Weight of Stars by Tessa Gratton*

June

88/ Does My Head Look Big In This? By Randa Abdel-Fattah

89/ Diverse Energies edited by Tobias S. Buckell and Joe Monti

90/ The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie*

91/ The Lines We Cross by Randa Abdel-Fattah

92/ The Edge of the Abyss by Emily Skrutskie

93/ Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

94/ Cat Girl’s Day Off by Kimberly Pauley

95/ Rook by Sharon Cameron*

96/ York by Laura Ruby

97/ Saints and Misfits by S.K. Ali

98/ Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

99/ False Hearts by Laura Lam*

100/ Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

101/ The Names They Gave Us by Emery Lord

102/ Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee

103 That Thing We Call A Heart by Sheba Karim

104/ In A Perfect World by Trish Doller

July

105/ Defy the Stars by Claudia Gray

106/ Want by Cindy Pon

107/ Behold the Bones by Natalie C. Parker

108/ The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

109/ When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon

110/ The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

111/ This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab*

112/ Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older*

113/ Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab

114/ If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

115/ Because You Love To Hate Me edited by Ameriie

116/ Wildlife by Fiona Wood

117/ Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson*

118/ The Diviners by Libba Bray*

119/ Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson

120/ Skunk Girl by Sheba Karim

121/ The Girls at the Kingfisher Club by Genevieve Valentine

122/ Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray*

123/ Flying Lessons and Other Stories edited by Ellen Oh

124/ Amberlough by Lara Elena Donelly

August

125/ The Girl at Midnight by Melissa Gray*

126/ The Next Together by Lauren James

127/ Past Perfect by Leila Sales

128/ The Library of Fates by Aditi Khorana

129/ Once and For All by Sarah Dessen

130/ Daughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody

131/ Burn For Burn by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

132/ Radio Silence by Alice Oseman*

133/ The Great American Whatever by Time Federle

134/ Miles Morales by Jason Reynolds

135/ Heartstone by Elle Katharine White

136/ Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta

137/ Solo by Kwame Alexander

September

138/ The Savage Dawn by Melissa Gray

139/ Boyfriends With Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez

140/ Brooklyn, Burning by Steve Brezenoff

141/ Dove Arising by Karen Bao

142/ Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust

143/ Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

144/ Little and Lion by Brandy Colbert

145/ Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart

146/ Mechanica by Betsy Cornwell

147/ Warcross by Marie Lu

148/ Spinning by Tillie Walden

149/ Release by Patrick Ness

150/ Here Lies Daniel Tate by Cristin Terrill

October

151/ Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

152/ Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo

153/ Dress Codes For Small Towns by Courtney Stevens

154/ Shadowhouse Fall by Daniel José Older

155/ Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu

156/ Venturess by Betsy Cornwell

157/ Night of Cakes and Puppets by Laini Taylor

158/ An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson

159/ When I Am Through With You by Stephanie Kuehn

160/ Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore

161/ Romantic Outlaws by Charlotte Gordon

November

162/ Speak Easy, Speak Love by McKelle George

163/ The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

164/ You Bring the Distant Near by Mitali Perkins

165/ Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds

166/ In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

167/ A Line in the Dark by Malinda Lo

168/ Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi

169/ Echo After Echo by Amy Rose Capetta

170/ Geekerella by Ashley Poston

December

171/ You Don’t Know Me But I Know You by Rebecca Barrow

172/ Like Water by Rebecca Podos

173/ Last Leaves Falling by Fox Benwell

174/ Black Boy, White School by Brian F. Walker

175/ Song of the Current by Sarah Tolcser

176/ They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

177/ The Wicker King by K. Ancrum

178/ If I Ever Get Out of Here by Eric Gansworth

179/ Empress of a Thousand Lanterns by Julie C. Dao

180/ King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table by Anne Berthelot

181/ Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

182/ Life On Mars by Tracy K. Smith

183/ Grendel’s Guide to Love and War by A.E. Kaplan

184/ The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

185/ The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty

186/ You Don’t Know Me But I Know You by Lilly Anderson